But please someone explain to me, since I KNOW I want this more than any of my friends, how come they all loose weight and I simply don't?
I cry, I get frustrated, I starve, I binge and still I hate my mirror image. I get jealous to EVERY GIRL who passes my way, wishing I could look like her, no..her, no, no HER!
Is it all in my mind? My friends think I'm thin, guys have complimented many parts of my body, my sister's boyfriend thinks my body looks like a model (get him some glasses, please) and I wonder
Does everyone make fun of me? Or is it just all in my mind?
Of course I know the answer. I know why I'm bitching so much about this. All my life I wanted something, and boom! I had it. Holidays? yes. Clothes? yes. Concerts? yes. Friends, parties, pets, ANYTHING. I'm lucky enough to have an amazing childhood and upbringing.
And this is the first time I'm asking one thing for myself and LITERALLY can't have it. I don't want thin. I don't want a nice butt (uh..) I WANT SKINNY.
For me. Not for my friends. Not for possible stupid boyfriends.
FOR ME.
be strog :)
ReplyDeleteyou are an inspiration for me, the first time i read you blog i can't stop reading and went from post to post, you're the one who made me want to create a blog about my struggling with ED
I wish I could give you the answer. I doubt anyone is making fun of you; they think they're comments are helpful but they don't understand that it doesn't matter what the hell they say, at the end of the day it's you that has to live with your body and you that has to be happy with it. You are not mad. But remember to hold onto the good things you do have too, and these people who love you as you never know when you will need them.
ReplyDeleteDo it for you, hon, and stay strong x
You'll get there :)
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel because I feel that way all the time.But just work towards it,don't let anything affect your goal and you'll reach before you know it!
ReplyDeleteStay strong,love!
me too.
ReplyDeleteI'm catching up by the way, I've been gone a while
xxo