Just a quicky

Last night before holidays! It's almost past midnight but I refuse to go to sleep.. I know I have quite disappeared but my social life needs a major change and I'm in the process of doing so. This is why I have one whole hour before I go out clubbing. I could so easily sleep right now but damn it's the last night here. By this time tomorrow I would be (hopefully) at my hometown with my mom eating spinach pie -oh god.

I reached 55.7 only for a day and now I'm back at 56.2.. Pity I know.

But you know what, I'm having a much better time lately and refuse to let that get me. No, I can go out and dress up and dance and have a good time.

See I have a small health problem again (a lady-related one) so I can't let it bring me down. I may have half my NY suitcase filled with pills and creams but I am fine..

I have a lab tomorrow too.. I know I will look a zombie with really bad hair but for now I just have to look my best :)

no alcohol for me though ..that is very unfortunate. Maybe some wine? I don't know, I'll try not to have any but who can dance in a place full of people without some vodka?

I know I can't!

I will try to post again until NY time -Saturday that is- but I cannot promise. I'm not taking a laptop with me but I'll try and figure out how to post from my iphone!

a big hug to all of you *

-while eating an apple. Red.

there are sometimes when I really don't want to make a post. This time I was like give me a laptop now! I love you guys, and welcome new followers! thank you, thank you too much!

So I've been quite busy clubbing, playing and travelling for educational purposes.. Yesterday I was on a truck for the whole day searching for any river willing to have some water so that me and my team can measure and get some water and rock samples for our lab. It was so tiring.. I even had to pee behind a tree -humiliating I know!

but it was fun overall doing something extraordinary. I can get bored so easily.

So the thing I want to tell you is that I think I'm coming back. I mean myself. Losing weight, communicating with people, CLUBBING, being quite bitchy -that used to be me once. Many friends have noticed my "change" and me too, as I really was terrified to even go to a club. That wasn't me, I could feel it too..

But for a week now I feel much much better! Spring has really affected me I think.

So I promise you : THOSE DAYS ARE OVER.

it's so amazing to recognise yourself, and love it :)

10 days 10 days 10 days

What a lovely day. Tuesdays are fun because I have to wake up early and call the gym, to attend spinning class cause there are a certain number of bikes. Then I sleep again for a little while haha.

So today I had another important thing to do. Get authorization for my NY trip. I was so nervous not to make mistakes, but all went well and now I am only 10 days and 10hours away!

Not sure I can make the 54 by next week but this morning the scale showed 56.1

I will definitely try and promise tomorrow it goes to 55 point.

ribs? I have to admit I love mine.

sometimes I hug them..do you hug them too or I am just crazy?

nice tan, awesome legs!

careful of the sun exposure ladies!

may I say I love this photo?

idk if she's a celeb, but I really wish it was me :)

Enter: troubles

Have you ever been really confused about yourself?

like you can't decide if you like yourself, if you deserve others to like you, if you are having fun, if you are the way you supposed to be..

and then everyone pushes you to enjoy yourself. because years pass by. and then you get too stressed when you realise you are not able to feel happiness. but then you do -just for a little while.

I have never been more confused in my life. There were always periods of time when I knew I wasn't happy, when I knew I didn't have what I wanted and knew what to do to make things change.

But lately..oh lately I am so fucking messed up. I really try to be happy, to make new friends, to have new things going on but it's ALWAYS something fucking missing.

Am I just spoiled?

The minute I find myself I promise you girls would be the first to know. :)

In other news, this week's schedule is filled with gym hours. Every day at 3.30 p.m

I have to do something about this gap between my legs.. it must show at all times. I'll work for that..

I'm gonna switch on this "happy button" as soon as I find it!

I promise.