What's in my conference suitcase?

Tomorrow I am flying back home to attend a neurobiology conference. It actually starts this Friday, but me not having any classes Wednesdays and Thursdays, I took the opportunity to take two days off of everything and meet some friends!

I used my miles for the tickets and I am taking a carry-on with me, so I had to pack very lightly.

this is everything I am taking for 5 days.
I know it's shitty quality, but I had to hurry up and pack everything in. I will try and link the items so you can have a closer look if you wish. So all in all I'm taking my Pull and Bear grey coat, a denim jacket, some bras/knickers and tights, a black and a vinyl legging, my make-up bag, my foldable Wayfarers, some plain shirts, a dress, and some Topshop cardigans. On your far right you see my new Macbook Air cat sleeve, a ring, a necklace and my Michael Kors rose gold watch. I wish I could bring more shoes with me, but I'm taking my Bertie boots and my Kurt Geiger ankle zip boots.
(also shown, Urban Outfitters purple floral rug)

I think this is a good representation of my wardrobe essentials, which are my most used items anyway. I like to accessorise so I may be bringing some more jewellery.

This afternoon I will hit the Mac counter with my cousin, so maybe expect a beauty new-in post to lipsticks and stuff, and some drugstore nail polish!

I promise to keep in touch while my short trip!
xx

Coffee black, like my soul

I get proper excited for these pictures. I mean this is perfection to me. Clean, fine lines, rich material and monochrome. I don't know if it's just me, but I find this styling very interesting, even 'colourful'.

It goes so smooth for the eye, it almost lets your mind wonder. Like a clean canvas for your imagination, given with a very minimal perspective. It gives me the chills. 

I see a pattern here.

and for when you need to spice things up

(pictures from the web)

Happiness

I felt like myself on a night out after such a long time. Drinking, smiling, flirting with such confidence.

Almost 300 days since I last felt like that. Almost three years have gone by since I saw myself in the mirror like this. I felt approval from within; not caring if I am beautiful or skinny or sexy to others, I just felt right. Most of you know what I am talking about.

The most amazing feeling ever.

FINALLY

woohoooo

First time in so long since I've last seen number 5 as the first number on the scale!! 59,7 but still it's a long fight for me. The best part is that I am feeling normal (not healthy, per say, just okay) so it's a win-win!

Today is also my dad's birthday so happy birthday to him too!! I love him so so much!

So, to 'celebrate' the three down two to go, here's a tiny smile and an OOTD (outfit of the day)

shirt- H&M

black jeans- Zara

spiked necklace- H&M

lipstick- Korres in 13 'natural pink'

Weird dreams

Back when I was ill, the one indicator that I was very ill indeed was my refusal to shop. I mean, not clothes, not shoes, not even grocery shopping. Even nowadays, my mom or sister get worried when I say I don't want to shop. I vividly remember this one time when my sister gave me a huge topshop bag filled with half the store, and I simply said 'thank you, I don't want them, keep it'. I feel so bad about this to this day (of course she didn't keep them, I am wearing the pair of leggings right now).

Despite everything sucking lately, I am very well. I mean my stomach gets flatter by the day and you ALL know that is the reason I wake up smiling. Of course I have my low days, but I try to outnumber them with happy ones :)

So cold weather is here, I already got sick (no news to me) and I have the deepest urge to shop! I mean seriously, this year is all about black, minimal cuts, leather and monochrome. My style is finally in fashion, without being 'boring'. So I can be as black, edgy or plain as I like and not get weird looks. Add this on a flatter/fitter body and is just pure success!

I have my eye on this bag from Topshop, but it's on the pricier side. I have been looking for a black leather bag and this looks so me. Plain with a twist (and a zip). I will let you know whether I will 'invest' on it or not.

I also have been having these weird dreams about having a fat boyfriend with curly hair. I don't really know what that means, but in the dream I seem to be ok with it. He really looks like someone I would not be attracted to. I don't see anything sexual, it's just that I am always attracted on the athletic type of guys... anyway just mentioning it

how's everyone doing?

Monday Morning

Yesterday was the first day that it actually was cold out. Finally. I feel much better this morning, waking up to a cold morning, feels like it can take all my 'pain' away.

(explaining the 'pain')
So, 2013 was pretty much shit. I mean I will never -ever- forget this year but I have been left with so much bitterness that it's actually not healthy. Lot's of awesome things happened (travelled to Peru, fell in love, bested my work) but to balance things out some terrible ones happened too (grandma died, my heart broke twice at the same time, I was lied at, didn't graduate).

I really suffered during summer. A hectic summer with lots of work, a few more pounds and a broken heart. What more can you ask from a summer, right? I couldn't leave; escape. I really wish I could forget this summer, but it's all inside my brain, holding on strongly.

So to forget and move on, I needed at least a change of the weather. To put me in better mood with things I like: coffee, sweaters, tea, rain. And you know what? It works.

So happy week to everyone and I really wish the weather stays that way :)

p.s. I will keep posting random outfit photos/ diet updates but I don't do stats anymore. I feel there is really no point in that, as every single body is unique. Muscle weights more than fat, and there's really a difference if you have a narrow or a wide body. So complete measurements don't matter. I will state though, for the new ones, that I am 1.65cm in height and my healthy goal weight is 56-57 kilos. Oh, and this is not me in the picture, obviously!

Diet progress ramble and OOTD

Tip for a beautiful start of your day: pour filtered coffee in a mug. Add some skimmed milk and little bit of cinnamon. Stir. Drink. Smile :)

I really need to get on track with my studying, as much as I try to avoid it. I know that once I start I will continue without much effort but starting is always the difficult part. Just like my diet. It seems like yesterday that the nutritionist gave me my first weekly schedule. Now, three months later I am three kilos down (as opposed to 'one kilo per week' that was the plan). Well, I know that a fit body can't lose much fat, so you have to be more patient to see results.

I now am a full size down on pants (EU 38 and I wear them baggy) and my arms are more defined. That's what I have noticed at least. Some people have commented on me losing weight. They say it shows on my face -I believe it too.
The most important part is that I stopped taking my vitamin pills and I really don't feel any difference. I mean, I don't do cardio anymore and probably if I start I will have to take some pills, but for now I like being pill-free!

That's my outfit of the day. I have some errands to do and the weather refuuuuses to get cold. Of course you can't see the most fun part, my shoes, but that is another post I guess. Total outfit- ZARA, necklace- from Barcelona.

In the Life - my dad

I feel like I have been missing for quite a while now, although it's not long ago since I last posted -or is it? Anyway, my cousin finally found a place to stay so she's out of here (but within 5 minute walking distance) and then my parents came to visit so this is really the first time I am alone in my house for a long long time!

During my parents visit we travelled around the island and had a lot of fun. I was quite worried to be honest, because we are experiencing some problems this year. Excuse me for being a little to personal but I am so happy we had a nice time despite the situation.
Well, last year my dad's business closed for good. It was one of the most successful companies nation-wise and my father and his partner had made it from scratch. Lots of work and lots of effort made it the best company in its category in the 90s. Anyway, for security reasons I'm not going to say anymore, but all in all, the crisis affected it so much that sadly, it closed. My father got very sad at the point of depression firstly because his whole working life was shattered but also because he thought that he couldn't provide his family the life we used to have. But that doesn't really mattered to us, seeing him this unhappy was the only thing that mattered. So my mom took him to a therapist where he could talk it all out, and was given a sleeping pill just because all these thoughts inside his head were keeping him up at nights.

I get so worried when he's not okay. He is rather old- 67 years old, although he never really showed his age. Not until last year. I realised what sadness can do to you, your attitude, your face, even your posture and promised myself I will never let him see me sad (you know I get unhappy from time to time). So he came to visit me last week for the first time ever (he couldn't get out of work before) and us three had a really nice time. We went on road trips, ate nicely cooked meals, met with my friends' parents and more. I could tell he got tired easily but I am happy he did the effort and we all had nice things to remember.

Before I get emotional, I probably should end this post. It's not what I originally intended to write about, but I'm going with it.

Because I always say that I can't feel love or that I am being loved, and that I probably got this from my dad. But I feel like between me and my father it seems to be this connection that people call love.

I love you, dad.