So this is me being honest.

 Day 1. 

Weight : 60 kgs

Breakfast:

• all bran cereal w/ skimmed milk
• 6 strawberries
• black coffee

Lunch

• chicken pasta
• 10 haribo bear jellies 

Snack

• black coffee
• glass of unsweetened iced tea
• slice of whole wheat bread

Water

• 3 litres

This is such a failure. If it wasn't for the pasta, all would be okay. Tomorrow I'll try better. Promise. Think of Milan, must think of a bikini body. 

Enter Exams

As my new tattoo happily peels off the layer of the wound (nice description, huh), I realised my exams start this Thursday. Fuck. Having so many things to do, that many invitations and some attention from guys really puts me in a mood wayyy off the exams. But a girl's got to graduate next year, so let's be serious for a while.

(Although this weird attention has really gotten in the nerves of K, who is acting all bitchy to every guy talking to her about me..oups! I'm really trying to go for coffee with a guy though, but I'm getting kinda shy...)

ANYWAY, the thing I wanted to talk to you guys about. This month I will post daily, posts that consist of a food diary and really quickly some highlights of the day, if any. So please stay with me in the efforts not to gain exam weight and to get through this stressing time.

I will try my best not to bore you, promise!!
lots of love

Inspiration

After the longest sleep anyone has ever taken on a Friday night (which included three parties, I went to none cause I'm weird like that), I woke up to the same book I'm waking up four days now. Yes, to a book. Anyway, today's moto is study-starve-skype. I have to melt all the fat from my body, and I really don't make it easy for me. I also have another second-year skinny student looking me weirdly. I wonder if she knows about my blog. Nah, not possible.

I have so many reasons to lose this fucking weight and now I'm feeling like it. Tattoos, lace, summer dresses, sandals and rings, this could all be me. So, for the sake of it, some pictures from the web (mostly from Tumblr and WeHeartIt- not!thinspo) for your eyes only :)

I love you, my girls!

Feelings Vol 2

I'm having so many happy feelings while taking care of my new tattoo (see previous post). Again, thank you everyone for all this positive feedback. The mean comments continue to arise (did you do this with a pen?) while all my girl friends draw their hands and toes pretending they have one too. Coincidence? please..

I am used to this love/hate when it comes to fashion statements or some of my beliefs. People would hate, and then pass them over as their own opinions. Such a fake world. But anyway, I know better than worrying about everything. This week has been tiring, happy, and a little emotional as a guy has been really insisting to take me out for a coffee. Now you know how this goes, don't you?
I am flattered, VERY. Then I talk and get all charming and at the right moment I put my shields up and vanish into thin air. I usually leave behind just a bittered guy; but sometimes it's a broken heart. Bitterness comes from friends too (he was perfectly fine.., WHY you think he doesn't suit you?, you ditch him and then complain that no one likes you, you have no feelings/heart/emotions and the drama goes on).

Truth is, I don't like human contact that much. I do like and enjoy sex but I fear at the thought of starting something that will involve kissing in public, holding hands, cuddling and hugging under the moonlight. I feel asphyxiated. So I start nothing at all.
So yeah, A*, good luck meeting me...

I might as well get a dog, like Erin, and get it over with.

Tat Tat Tat

Okay, yes, I am inexcusable. More than 24 hours have passed since I got my tattoo and I haven't made a post yet. So, here it is! I am already in love with it, although I am impatiently waiting for the first layer to fall off so that it can be less blurry and neater.

I have already received some compliments, some weird looks and some mean, mean comments (such as "what does that mean?", "all..is? I don't think that's accurate", "it looks like a henna tattoo") Thanks..really!

So this is it... I don't know if I'm going to keep the pictures up for more than a week, but I'll let you know :)

A close up. Yeah, it had to be done below any "wrinkles" and yeah, it hurt over then vein. But I love it, I would do it again anytime!

and, in case anybody is wondering, here's the meaning. I am a lucky girl in this violent and bright world, and sometimes I get lost in the little every day things. It will remind me, now and forever, that everything has a bright side if you want to look for it. There are people in my life who love me and expect only one thing for me: to smile. And I will do my best to make that happen. Every day.  :)

*your comments will be really really appreciated

You 'must' be so happy now

After two long waiting hours, three bitten nails and one Italian student, I gave up and went to class. I was still nervous but I wasn't going to wait the whole weekend to make another appointment. So I went back during the break and I waited and waited until she arrived at her office later that afternoon. She apologised for the long wait, and I felt the anxiety melting away. I knew I wanted to work at her lab. She knew that too.
We got to talk about my university life, my accomplishments up until this point and my grades. My grades aren't that good, but my lab experience is pretty dope. I could tell she was pleased with that. The timing was perfect too, cause I am available to start from September and she is also looking for an undergrad to start on September. So in short, she wants me and OFFERED me a place at her lab. So, Medicine Department, here I come! Thank you for the wishes, girls, I am so happy you supported me cause I fear such interviews.

The weather is tea-appropriate and I invited my friends over for a movie night yesterday. It was fun, we watched "The woman in black". I've really seen better but it was a little scary I have to admit. That's why you need boys for such movies! They left at 5 in the morning so my Saturday started really late..

I love that picture, I would wear the exact same outfit in such weather. have a beautiful weekend my lovelies! tattoo on Monday, stay tuned! xx

Accept

My neurobiology presentation was quick and painless this morning! Once I got up there and the professor opened my powerpoint I took a deep breath and started explaining Huntington's disease, looking and pointing with the laser, trying to make my point. The feedback I got later on from friends was that it was easy to understand and my pictures really helped focus on the protein pathways I was trying to explain. All in all, win!!
I'm also in anxiety of tomorrow's appointment with another lab professor, in order to work at her lab next year. I hope that goes well because her lab is so interesting and it will be so relaxing to have found a lab for my graduation paper...wish me luck!

Okay, university stuff aside news. Lately I wake up with a flat stomach and spend two minutes looking and touching my ribs before getting dressed. Madness but it's already a ritual. If I don't have a flat stomach, simply don't talk to me that day, ok?
I'm also noticing that everyone has a tattoo! I don't know whether I notice them now simply because I'm having one so soon, or it's summer that reveals the inked skin on everybody. Even the lady who did my pedicure yesterday had two! I feel like joining a silent club- everyone has one, but don't make a fuss about it.

 she's lovely- I simply can't stop wearing my oxfords!!

A week of smiles

NOTE: I think I'm going to try this type of post.
So here you are, some random pictures of this last week! Tell me if you want a weekly post like that :)

my new oxfords!! I've been looking for a pair of flat oxfrod shoes almost for a year now, and on my way home from booking my tattoo I saw them! -instant love- So I went to the store yesterday and got them and I haven't taken them off since then. The lady gave me a 9euro discount, too, so how much more could I ask?

cherry season!! my favourite fruit is available at my local grocery store so I had to take a photo! a serious smile on my face right now! yummmm

Sunday sun time. just chilling by the sea with my ice tea and some friends. 

bag- U.O. / shoes- Kurt Geiger / jean- Topshop

delicious homemade fruit smoothie -half a banana, skim milk, two spoons of yoghurt, two cups of strawberries and in the blender it goes! add ice (and some chocolate sprinkles for the cravings)

oh, my Asos sandals are finally here! I took them with me to university class and I really wanted to show you how cute they look !!

and for the end, the relaxing tune of the week! I run across this song and fell in love 

have a lovely Tuesday, lovelies*

It's really happening

Well it's not even 10 in the morning and I'm already up making this post. I really hope I could sleep a bit more...anyways, I might as well make an update over here :)
I didn't had the Neurobiology presentation, just cause we run out of class time and my last name is near the end of the alphabet. So next Thursday. Oh well... Super busy semester is coming to an end so that exams can start. I finished my Fish lab hours for now so that is a huge relief on my every day schedule! I have so much to study, so little time.

In other -much more exciting- news, I booked my tattoo!! Yes, it's happening! I decided to go with my first choice of design, the one back in October. It has more meaning to me and it's in my favourite tattoo place. Wrist. It will be covered with my watch anyway, so I don't worry much about all this "everyday exposure" issue. I searched my blog a little and found this post and I'm quoting below what I wrote back then about my tattoo.
As for the tattoo, I'm still thinking about it. It has to be something small, on my wrist or inside my arm. It has to be something to remind me of all the good I have in my life, all the love I receive even if I cannot feel it, all the smiles I have to give to people who care about me. I forget that. I am a lucky girl but so fucked up that I need a tattoo to remind me of that.
It will be three words in a calligraphy font and one tiny heart. I promise pictures the day I get it!!

The appointment is on the 21st so I'm so happy about that too! He said "sorry, there's no time on the 21st" and I was like "that is unacceptable..please make it happen :) " and he gave me the -oh, you are insane- look and gave me a 11.30am and 9pm choices. No, I'm not going to come when you're closing, after he's over with a three-hour tattoo and demand my calligraphy to be accurate. I'll take 11.30 ! Excited is the word here!!

that's a pretty bad-ass tat! 

I'm always giving this picture the "wow" look

What is wrong with humanity?

Like, really.
People make me sick, but that is a really big issue to comment on 1.30 in the morning with a big presentation tomorrow. I just had to make this post; I've had enough with Tumblr. Yes, I am aware that being who I am I have followed many ED accounts, and generally some "emo" ones. I am immune to the sight of scary looking rib cages, cut wrists and emaciated bodies, all of Tumblr girls who voluntarily upload them. But at sick posts is where I draw the line.

A week ago, I think, I saw on my dash a video of a girl purging on top of a toilet with more than a thousand notes. I was a little annoyed but decided to scroll past it. Two days ago, (some of you may know this, if not sorry for bringing it up) there was a post of a removed fetus (it's like a baby at it's earliest stages inside the womb) wearing  a hat. I mean it wasn't scary looking because I study biology and a life (hmm, well) is a beautiful thing IF YOU LET IT GROW. Okay, I'm not opening the abortion issue either, it's late, every woman has the right to control her body and decide what will go through, but fucking don't dress a fetus and post it all over the internet. It's disturbing.

But tonight, tonight is where I've had enough. Seeing a (13.159 notes) post about a woman beating an infant. Why? From all I could see there was a child too young to be able to stand up, crying, and a woman just sitting there hitting it(her?) with a pillow and then with her hands. The woman was obviously mental because she was just sitting there and getting all her nerves out on a little baby, with another child watching. What kind of post is that? Is that raising awareness? The fact that someone obviously was filming it and doing nothing to stop this madness, is this awareness? The fact that the infant was physically and emotionally traumatised, another child was looking at this also being instant traumatised by the cruelty and possible AN ADULT standing behind a camera or a cell phone doing nothing.

HOW IS THAT AWARENESS?
Ladies of Tumblr, if you want awareness read, travel, care and fucking act. Don't wait a famous Tumblr post to tell you this is a wild, wild world. Please and thank you.

Love-ly

My first actual beach experience for 2012 was everything I could hope for. Clear water, sunny weather, lots of sunblock and no one around to feel ashamed for my body. I mean, there were lots of families and couples but no skinny bitches or handsome boys to check my fat ass. (see how I put skinny bitches first)
The only dark thing was my hair..you don't want to see my hair get wet and dry; REALLY!

I'm having the need to buy summer clothes, accessories and sandals. That means, in the life of me, that I am healthy and in a calm condition with myself. Really, last year I couldn't even shop in Rome, I got my parents worried haha.. So I made an Asos order, just a pair of sandals and a ring, and they should be here in a couple of days so beware for pictures!
I really can't wait to book my tattoo appointment, have a long pedicure and go get inked for the very first time! My parents don't know, no, but I'm old enough (21) not to ask them.

So, priorities for May:
1. study for June exams!
2. get the tattoo at last!!
3. lose as much weight until the Milan trip (mid-July)
4. try to embrace the boho chic look for summer :)

(to all confused readers,

obviously this is not me)

All the other kids

So it began. Yesterday I went to the beach with a friend! We were so into swimming but we finished really late from the lab so we had enough time for one hour of sun bathing before the sun was gone. We chose gossip and tanning! I unwillingly left my bandeau bikini at home for a better tan on my back (I wore a triangle), my I didn't get even a bit darker! Stupid school, if only we had arrived a couple of hours earlier...

Lovely, no?

So, in other news, some girls asked me about my upcoming tattoo. As I have said before, last year was a dark one for me. I still have dark times during a day but I'm strong to fight them. I want a tattoo to remind me of this year, the year after the (possibly) lowest point of my life. I'm also 21 years old, and you probably already know this is my lucky number. I'm also booking for May 21st.
So after lots of thought, I decided I'm gonna get something "safe" that will also be (kind of) different and stylish. I'm also into yoga and meditation and I believe that balance is very important in life. The two half's of the body should be the same and equal for a balanced life. So I'm going to have two small tattoos, on each ankle -just like the picture- but empty inside, just the pattern of two small hearts. I want it minimal and just above the shoe and I plan to fill them later on in my life.

Any thoughts?

Those lovely days

It literally seems like yesterday, when it was only January 2012 and I had so many hopes and dreams about this new year. Now it's May and all I can say is that nothing of what I was hoping/dreaming happened. Other beautiful things happened though, ones that only college life can explain. But no, not the ones I planned.

Yesterday I spent my day by the sea with three other girls. We didn't go to the beach but we went to a small trip, had lots of fun and a ridiculously delicious lunch. I had the chance to wear my new Topshop shorts and everything turned to summer :)

Today I have got to start studying for the upcoming exams. I am so pathetic, really. I have a presentation next Thursday so I'm going to start with that instead of just closing my eyes and point at any book on my library.

Onto the interesting stuff, I have big news!! FASHIONOLOGY  has a 25% off of the entire collection because they launched their new blog! If you are a Tumblr addict, you already know tons of their stuff, and if not you should totally check their collection!

I'm already planning on buying a few things... I've been wanting this necklace for ages (just cannot decide about the stone/colour) and of course the bracelet from my previous post!! 

And as I'm a link freak on this post, my Tumblr account, Anklets&Skulls. Check it, follow me and send me a message, I'd love to be your Tumblr buddy! :)