R a n d o m

Sunny days, sitting on the couch, surrounded by bright windows and my fish. He won't eat; don't worry I'll do all the eating.. Coffee on my left side, a 700 pages book on my right. Will I ever open it and actually study? I wonder...

This whole week I've been so busy I can't even. Now that I think of it, I didn't too anything really constructive. Just endless hours at the lab, some classes, gym and midnight walks with KK. Don't ask me what is going on with him, I don't even know what is going on with me right now. But it's nice, I mean it's not fun cause it's so complicated (no, not like on Facebook), but it's nice. Yesterday was yet again a tragic E night. We went for drinks, just the two of us, and at the other side of the bar was her ex with a new girl. Kissing. It's getting so tiring, really.. She tries to convince me she's over with him but there she was, drinking lots and talking shit.

I couldn't be more random right now, but I am in a real need of a tattoo. I've considered it, and I want it. Before summer cause sun is the worst enemy, I hear. I'm thinking about booking on May 21st. It's a Monday and 21 is my lucky number. If I decide to do this it will be such a huge step for me, really. I will let you know :)

I love everything about this picture

Lavender

So I survived Monday and my fish are all nicely coloured. What a relief, although I spent all my day running up and down three floors at the university, cause the elevator was out of order. Then I went to a spinning class. Then I passed out on my bed, happily exhausted.

Today is a little blah day, I'm not feeling okay. But I will get through it by cleaning the house and going to a kick ass step class at the gym tonight. Gym is lovely as more and more people decide to ditch it for coffee and sunny walks. That means less people and less sweaty corridors and locker rooms. Win!

By the end of the week I will order these amazing sandals from Asos, tell me what you think! I also have my eye on these green ones, your opinion will be noted :) There's a chance I'm going to the beach this Saturday so I'm freaking out to get in the summer mood. No need to panic, I'm panicking though.

No, no title

Prepare yourselves for the most furious post in history of my blog. Perhaps not, I get angry a lot..
First of all, these past days have been really busy on the social side, and with the sun shining it has all been good. Monday classes start again and I am rested to give my best effort on them.

But in the middle of all this happiness K informs me she's leaving tonight until May 2nd. Like, really? Spreading these news to me last minute? And acting like it's no big deal??
The most important part of our experiment is starting on Monday with some VERY difficult stuff to do. And she leaves me alone to do fucking everything. Without even a "sorry". I even got the laboratory key; so much responsibilities and she's leaving for holidays. I am pissed. I could freak out a little bit more. Our supervisor is already acting a bit weird and I have to deal with that too.

I wasn't freaked out enough until I got a call from KK who insisted we go to the beach today. TODAY. It's still April and I'm still fat. And he is a b-boy, so yeah, I can say he has a nice bod. I got out of that easily but more invitations are to come. Fuck that.
But no worries, girls. Since I will spend my days and nights at the lab alone, I don't think I will be able to eat anything until May 2nd, so WOOT! there's your weight loss.......

*oh, and a big welcome to all new followers :)

Back to my place.

Holidays at home were shorter than ever. That means, relaxing, happy, even fun. I had to leave, I don't belong there anymore. But I'm glad my family is still united, loving, healthy. Things you start to realise they must not be taken for granted as you grow up.

Yesterday I decided to take the boat instead of the plane. Stupid, stupid choice. The wind was maaaad. But we finally arrived and I got the chance to see my fish (he's still alive!) and some of my friends again. I cleaned the whole fucking house and then it was time for a drink. The new alternative bar in town is surely my new thing. Of course I woke up having a headache.

Right now I'm making a list for the grocery store and some cleaning products, trying to figure out the best way to keep my metabolism up, my training hours up and my mood up so I can loose those 5 kilos! I'm going safe and classic this time.
Training: @gym 4 times at least (aerobic class, step class, spinning), sunday morning run by the sea.
Eating: avocados, apples, yoghurt, oven cooked meat
Drinking: black coffee, white wine
..nothing new, just plain restricting and lots of abs exercises. 1 kilo per week, keep the inspiration up!

tomorrow I'm going shopping with K. if it goes well pictures coming up but I'm keeping my cash for a mani-pedi next week; my fingers and toes need severe pampering..

A material girl

My sister sure knows how to make me happy. She bought me 200 pounds worth of Topshop clothing. This year I took the bag with a huge smile, gave her a big kiss and started taking out and trying each piece with much excitement. Last year was a lot different, as I was sick enough to lose my interest in clothes and everything else. With a statement that I don't need new clothes and I don't need anyone in general I gave the bag back. Bad times..

Anyway, the thing is I really didn't need to bring clothes cause I keep wearing the ones she bought me. But the materialistic Easter does not stop here. My grandmother gave me 300 euro and my godmother another 300. I guess they think life is hard for a biology student. I will keep half of them for shopping and stuff (hell, yeah) and the other half will be saved for the Milan trip. *Upcoming diet and training programme for Milan -stay tuned.

In the meantime I sleep, eat and try to be a happy kid for my parents. My sister arrived at London today cause she's working tomorrow so that leaves me alone here. Before leaving for my summerhouse, I managed to meet some of my friends from school. Well, as it seems, everyone is happily in a relationship and too busy talking and texting to listen to my little dramas.

I have to loose 5 kilos until summer. If I manage to stay focused I can do it. No "new starts" and shit. Continue from here, cause I have earned this fit body. I just want it thinner.

this would do; okay

No expectations, no disappointments.

Easter holidays are here. Packing the last things in my suitcase, a little hangover-ed from last night. I hope everything is packed (I made a list cause I'm a freak). Eleven days of home fun. Fun. Fun? Maybe not.

I don't feel like saying a lot today. I am a little bittered from last night. Although I had a great time with very nice boys and my girl friends to say goodbye for the holidays, my perfectionism doesn't let me relax and enjoy. I expect too much. I want impossible things. I can't expect people to share their feelings to me when I can't even let them touch me. Can I?

No expectations, no disappointments. This is my April motto.

We were lovers, we were kissers..

Sunny Sundays are the new hit. Yeah, finally I can count happy Sundays (in one hand yet). The weather is getting warmer and sunnier and everybody is getting nicer and happier. Well, everyone except E. She is still mean to me. Refuses to go out, she's ironic and just stops the conversation when she feels like it. What a pleasure to be around..

She has her things to deal with, I'm over this shit, really. I have to protect myself and right now I'm starting to feel nice again -until this breezy mood shuts down on my face again. I stand on the optimistic side, thinking about the Milan trip, going on my friend's tennis tournament, having a Lord of the Rinds dvd night tomorrow, getting to be with my family on Thursday, having a Sunday milkshake by the sea. These kind of things that are mood and weather appropriate. Yes, even a laugh or two with total strangers.

Neurobiology midterm exam went pretty well, too. I have to wait for my grade but I think I did good enough to do my presentation. I got the Huntington's disease paper so I have lot's of work to do.
As for tomorrow's little event, I am one of the last people on this planet never to have watched Lord of the Rings and my friends couldn't let that go, so ta-duhh! Two girls, two (or three) guys and three movies of ring fun haha. I hope we have fun.