Bounce.

I use my scale every single morning lately.. And now I'm a kilo down. Luckily. Of course that's no good cause today I binged.. like, a lot. Then felt sooo guilty and did 30 minutes of yoga and 3.15 mins of excercising rope (well that's how long "toyfriend- david guetta" lasts) and got really sweatty.

So now with all the stupid caffeine I fear of getting visible cellulite. This is the one thing I'm proud to be able to handle. My legs are really toned because until I was like 6 I always walked on my tip toes and have been excercising ever since. Of course I'm not happy with them -at all!! I personally think they look fat, along with my whole body, and that's why I'm so freaked out. So I looked at my butt at the mirror and just pushed it with my hand. DISASTER! It's not visible yet but by June it will be visible by satellites if I don't do sth fast.


Hmm..other news

I found out my term exams end on June 18th so on the 23rd I'm flying to London!!! I'm so much excited! I always have great time there, and of course lots of shopping :)
So now I really have to get that scale moving..summer 2010 has to be stress free and -if I may add- AWESOME!! haha.. apparently this summer lots of styles are in, and I already picked mine so I need to look fab *


Bills. That's another thing that bothers me lately. It's not that big deal,I'm a money saver too, so it's not that I don't have the money to pay them. It's just that a have to run to the post office and they surely don't come all together..So now I have phone and water for Monday.


Oh I could really use your opinion here.. Being so freaked out about blowing up like a balloon till my period comes I'm thinking about taking some laxatives. Of course I have never needed any of these cause I don't have such problem so I was thinking if they're stronger pills and less strong for this.. Idk I guess that will be me looking around for a new drug store cause I don't want to get anyone suspicious if I go and buy a pack of laxatives and an anti cellulite cream. Right?


*come, come baby, come be my toyfriend, let me play with you*
(oh and btw a freaked out post about boyfriends is coming up.. I've been thinking a lot lately but did not want to ruin this one with my crazy thoughts..so be prepared and I'm soo sorry in advance LOL)

Purple is always sexy..

I went this morning to buy my new pills. At last. My hands are shaking and of course I know many reasons why this is happening now.. so, I came across a nice surprise -at least I think. They are not pills, they're chewable tablets or sth like that. And actually two each day!! So every morning and night I'll have sth to chew or lick..and if it has a good flavor (pleeeease!!) I'll have sth more to distract me from eating :)


I realised another thing this morning: I am going insane! (even more than I used to be..and yes that is even possible)
Due to these crazy hormones which apparently are still holding back my period, I'm hot and I'm cold (literally and metaphorically) I'm yes then I'm no, I'm in then I'm out, I'm up and I'm down !!
My mood changes so fast, my body blows up and then just sucks in and I realised I've gained a whole kilo.. omg! This last one better be because my period is soon to come or otherwise I'll cry. For real.



So I've spent these few days watching thinspo movies..
I first saw THIN. I liked it,kinda. It's more of a documentary and it's really motivating.
Then I saw SHARING THE SECRET. Well this one was my favorite. The girl is extemely beautiful and the story was really interesting. I loved it!
The last one was FOR THE LOVE OF NANCY and I really really didn't like it. Like there wasn't a story, and the girl was kinda annoying.. I'm sorry but all she was doing was to avoid eating (at all) and yelling. I mean I thought maybe she didn't have just an ED cause she didn't binge and she was acting weirdly.
Anyway, this is my opinion about the movies, and I would definitely recommend the second one. You can watch them all on youtube, they're cut in 10 parts each. :)

Separated with a comma..

Have you ever asked yourself "where did all the love go?"
I know I have. And lately I'm convinced: love doesn't exist.. And as cruel as this may sound, I have made up my mind.
Of course I don't believe in love, maybe because I am not able to feel it. Or not. Never mind..


Today I went shopping.. I got back home with a salad, two apples and a bowl of strawberries. Oh, yes, you guessed right, I went clothe's shopping. Didn't find anything that I liked. I also bought an excercising rope.

I'm not feeling well, I got ready two times since I came home to go out again -one for the gym and one for starbucks studying- and when I got out of the door I decided I'd better stay inside. Things are not okay, I think. And my friend called to go out for coffee I told her I want to study.. So I practise with my rope ever since. :)
And yes, maybe all this situation has caused the problem I was talking about at my previous post, or just the opposite.. don't really know.


One thing I'm sure about :
ONE DAY I WILL LIVE AT LONDON
..I know that. I love this city so much, I go there two times a year but it's not enough. I want more.. I'll go there after my birthday so I'm looking for cheap tickets. I love LONDON as much as I love travelling as much as I love the feeling of my empty stomach. -see..I love a lot of things after all-


Hmm.. such a lousy post

With a glittered blue star on my left hand..

I have been indoors all day today. I hate Sundays, but I've told you that already..
Caffeine has replaced my blood today, I'm sure about that. I try to study but I am not going to finish what I've planned for today.. well it wasn't a study plan I could stick to at my first "study-study" day, anyway.
I also cancelled what I had planned for tonight, to avoid wine and maybe food. I actually wanted to go, but if I decide sth it's too difficult to change my mind. Pity..


*there's one thing bothering me the whole week, and it's kinda weird to talk about. Okay..so my period didn't show up this month (I'm waiting 5 days now and this is extremely unusual for me). And I know for sure I'm not pregnant -hello! single for so long- and I'm even more sure than I'm not anorexic enough for this to stop my period.. the funny part is that I'm not even moody and I don't have the symptoms of PES in general.
So I'm asking: wtf is going wrong??

I also had my blood test results this Easter and I'm as healthy as I can be (which isn't very much but oh,well..) and from tmrrw I'm starting medication with new pills! Hope they are nicer than my last ones, even though I sort of liked them..


Oh, I went to take my CellBiology book from this store and inside the book (which actually weights 3 kilos) there was a pair of paper 3D glasses.. the lady who gave it to me was soooo excited about them haha.. I was like do you want them?I don't even know what I'm supposed to see with them anyway..


I know I'm not trying hard on this lately but I really really have to get my scale on moving downwards already!! And waiting for my period prevented me from going to the gym, but I'm not going to wait any more. Tmrrw I'm going to the gym even if it is only for one hour.

OoOoOhh! I forgot my tablet in the kitchen..wait..
well I'm taking these tablets -you know these things that look like big pills and they're melting inside a glass of water..- for 14 days, 3 a day, that promise to reduce fat off your body. I know these things never work but I wanted one of these programmes to help me focus on my goal. Well the morning one tastes like orange, then with the lunch there is an apple-flavoured and at night -the one I'm taking now- is berry. Apparently this one is the worst but I got used to it..kinda.


I love shorts..I didn't always but now I find them super stylish! Matched with sandals and nice hair you can look always awesome..of course I'm not ready yet to show my legs to the world-lol- and I have the best excuse ever: laser! I can expose my legs to the sun only when my birthday is coming. 21 June. Which gives me lots of time to get ready!!
:D

A million miles from here..

Finally today I feel like everything is back in order..

-an extreme shock at my maths exam this morning;that is what I needed. Let me explain, I COMPLETELY failed.. I mean, I even forgot simple things (even though it was rather difficult in general) I spent one and a half hour just looking at these stupid 5 problems. Of course I knew I wouldn't write a single thing from the start, but I just took the chance to think for a while. I was so embarrashed to leave really early because I came late already, so I just sat in there..waiting.. and thinking..-


So I think from today I'm back in the game. I feel really powerfull and ready to keep my strict diet I used to have..
Today (as Saturday) I ate a low fat yogurt, a salad and a low fat berry mufin with a fresh orange juice. And that's it. Now my stomach makes all these grumping and yelling I sooo love and soo missed!!

Oh, and I studied! Not maths, of course... I studied BioChemistry and until Wednesday it is the only thing I'll study. Yeah..yeah.. exam! Hope this time I will go prepared enough :)


Of course the actual reason for my lack of studying is that I went to a garage concert the night before.. oups!! I really really did not want to go at first, but I had such a great time. No beer of course and it was so freaking cold but it was so cool..

before I looked around..

Today I..
..spent all my day at home.

I'm not feeling well lately, it's not like an illness, just more of a psychologic breakdown..and I'll really trying to fix it asap.
Oh, I also realised I'm missing a follower today so I really want to apologise to her for not having that much of interesting posts lately.. :)

I have to tell you that I'm much of a perfectionist. Okay, I realise that we all are here, and that's a symptom I guess.. but people are starting to tell me that, so now it's more clear to them.

..It all started with cleaning my house. Yes I admit doing that almost every day, I even wash the dishes at 2 in the morning because I cannot even think of a dirty sink while I'm sleeping.
Then it's my hair. They always have to look nice..of course I'm never satisfied, but they need to be at least properly done for me to feel calm. Does this sound crazy enough??
Oh, there is one other thing..on the weekend I was at my friends house in heels all dressed up and I was trying to fix her carpet because it had been folded and her little sister was like "hmm..you seem like a perfectionist I get that, but it's okay, it's just a carpet!" I know now she thinks I'm kind of a weirdo or what?


Of course I don't mind. Perfection to me is a lot of things and it almost disturbs me when sth is not done right -or the way I feel is the right one.


So I need new sunglasses. I mean I have some purple from U.O. I bought 2 years ago, and the ones I bought last year are propably lost somewhere.. These purple are cute but quite big for my face, so I only wear them at the top of my head like an accessory.
I'm thinking maybe I'll buy the classic ray-ban style glasses that look good on everyone, cause lets face it: all types of glasses are sort of mad at me!! haha..


I really like what the girl in the pic is wearing, and I've painted my nails that light-blue color everybody seems to love (of course the outfit is too hot for the season, promise I'll post more spring-summer looks!)

:)

are you missing a kiss?

..may I say that when everything and everyone brings you down, force yourself to smile and feel better. :)

I believe yesterday was the best Saturday I've had since I moved here..
me and my friends went to a city 2,5 hours away from here with a bus only to go to a hip hop concert and then to go clubbing and leave with the first morning bus back home! We had so much fun!! We danced a lot, ate chocolate cake and made friends with a shy puppy, put our party mood to go to the club even though we were all so sleepy, met Sotiris the-cute-barman, changed from high heels to converse in the middle of the street at 6 in the morning and tried to explain to a group of drunk boys why we are doing that (well hello! wear heels and dance for 5 hours and then ask me that question..)

Sundays always bring me down though..
of course I'm glad and very thankfull for every memory I have and every other I am about to make..

So I smiLe :)

Ha.

Lot to say.. At least I think so. I'm quite nervous at the moment but after 10 sets of abs and a long bath I think I'll be able to calm down in a while.. maybe I'll make a tea. Tea is always on :)
oh, wait my phone's ringing..
hmm, my cousin..

anyways.
Lets start with the good thing. My friends came back from Easter holidays so we're having so much fun (and wine lately..) together! We are even planning a one day trip to another city for Saturday and I'm thrilled about it for no apparent reason !!

But there's a thing that kinda gets in my way today.. he acts completely out of order. And I have no clue why he does that. And I'm telling you I wont even try to find it out. We were supposed to go for the fucking fucked (eh,sorry..) coffee this afternoon and he said we'll talk during the day to set the time. Cause of the stupid basketball practise. The only thing is that he didn't text me. The whole day. And I was such an idiot not to go with sb else. I cannot believe him. So another athlete goes to my 'relationship or even not' history. LOL

of course nobody's gonna destroy my way to happiness (=perfection). I'm staying strong with fruits and chicken -actually fish today. Of course I had some yogurt covered bananas sometime during afternoon as I was waiting for that stupid message.
Fuck.

But I'm okay :)
..overall

the writing on the wall.

Strawberry + Pineapple + Lemon*

Haha thank you for the support about the 'athlete' issue girls!!
Didn't I tell you?
If we are going to talk each time I laser my legs then the next time will be on the 17th May. LOL. He is such an idiot I have to say.
He texted me today complaining that I told him I'll text him to meet and just didn't. Now whaaaat?? I hate it when in the end we (girls) are the ones to be blamed. Anyways..

So I went for my appointment today. I wore my long V-neck t-shirt, my leggings and a long jacket. OOOh, and my brand new PURPLE all-stars :D (see..Silly Girl if you are reading this..thank you for helping me to choose!!)

I'm listening to Prodigy all day today. I really want to go to the gym and really really need to wash my hair, as they don't look good any more. Oh I took some pictures of me during the weekend and wanted to post them, but I'm still thinking about it :P

Last thing to say, I'm watching "The secret diary of a CallGirl" and it's so funny. Well I didn't even know the series, but now I can't stop watching it..is it me or every guy on season 3 is so hot??? hahaha...

coffee, coffee.. some more coffee please?

Hmm..
today was rather lonely too. I woke up a bit late because apparently one of my neighbours was fighting with her bf all night long and the other one returned from Easter holidays at 5a.m and was trying to lift her luggage up to the second floor. What a noise..
Of course I know how hard that is, as mine weighted 26kilos and I live on the third floor -no elevator.

And as you can obviously imagine I had to do that all by myself cause my 'athlete' hasn't talked to me since last Saturday. It's not that I want to complain because I've already reached a point where I don't expect much from guys, but at least he could ask me out for a fucking coffee.. Anyway I've decided I will leave it up to him cause I'm rather busy trying to study, which I'm really really not.

Tmrrw I have my second laser appointment for my legs. Speaking of that, at my first is when I met him but oh well :P
It's on 11 a.m. -don't forget it, annaM!

*btw I'm 56.7 all over again :(

oh, how I miss RnB parties..

*
think it's the perfect song for my mood right now.. I'm dancing all around the house hahaha!!
..and she's doing it in heels omg :O

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpTzi6jbxHM

(actually didn't manage to put this as a link SO SORRY)

back to my V :D

A big smile.
Yeah, a big one. Although I feel kinda guilty that I'm happy leaving home, I just couldn't hide my smile when I opened the door of my house. But I didn't have to. So I smiled..
I'm back on my island but I'll be quite lonely this weekend. That's okay I guess. I cleaned, went to the supermarket and said some 'heys' to oh-so-friendly ppl here.

I am so annoyed btw that I cannot use colours to my text any more.. I just loved that soft pink I was using ..pity.

Lets get to the point now. I had fun these days. And fun plus Easter equals FOOD.
So I must set a new goal a.s.a.p.
Today is the first day of my new diet. No shit summer's coming and I bought a new swimming suit for extra thinspo. Actually this time I'm going to tell my friends I'm on a diet. It's so hard when I try to hide it, and the word diet doesn't sound scary. I don't care cause -oh did I tell you this?- my blood test results showed I'm healthier than every other time! And that's super good :D
So I bought new filter coffee and tea that are free of cals during the day (hello, hello mrs.Cellulite long time no see haha)

Oh, and I'll try to comment as many of your blogs as possible from now on :):)
xoxo

BalLoonS.

*
oh, I am so full right now. Luckily tmrrw I'm going back to my home and I will officially
STOP EATING SO FUCKING MUCH!

Tonight I went with a friend of mine to see a theater play. But we didn't manage to watch it. For the second time. Don't ask..
So we decided to take a long walk and then to eat sth. And I really want to tell you what we ate cause it was so delicious I didn't even think about it.
So we had a vanilla ice cream as we were walking which I enjoyed so much cause I haven't done that for ages. Then we went to a restaurant and ate some grilled chicken with tzatziki sauce, tomato and garlic bread. And wine. Rose.
And at the end of our meal the waiter offered us strawberries with whipped cream and strawberry sirup !! (I got so enthousiastic I have to admit.)

So I'm now on my bed and I can't even move but not feeling guilty yet. I'm so scared of tmrrw morning though..

Saturday is the big day when I'll be home and everything goes back to normaL :)

i like

In love with everything.
Actually I am so tired but have lots of energy to change. Don't know how..
I really want to be more interesting. For me.

Went for shopping and got few things (thinspiration much?)

I'm hungry but I'm off to bed super straight.

Goodnight :)

don't you wake me up

..I don't want this dream to end :)
-it's a song, don't get too happy please..

Well hello hello it's 1.21 in the morning and I thought I should make this post. For no apparent reason.. Actually I missed you. I missed those who like to read my blog, those who don't and those who sometimes leave a comment!
I had a great time this weekend. We had a beautiful Easter on an island and we threw awesome fireworks (we actually were called by the police but that's okay haha) and the weather was so good I wish I had swimmed at the sea!

Of course there was a lot of food on a daily basis but I said I won't complain about that to you. I am planning a good diet and it starts on Saturday so I'm so looking forward to :D

I have one week (a bit less..) here and I want to get the most out of it. Oh and tmrrw my sister leaves so I'm going to the airport again! During this week I have to: see the rest of my friends, go to see my puppy and of course go shopping! Now shopping is a whole big subject because I already bought a boho style dress and need a few (lol) things more
--> new all star (BLACK,PURPLE OR GREEN?? need your opinion plz..), some formal tops, a pair of jeans, new sandals and of course a new bag.
The sad thing is that in the end I'm not going to find something to buy..
kinda difficult on summer shopping!!