How to achieve your New Year's resolutions

I was recently searching this topic for my own new year's list and I thought I'd share with all of you. So, without further adieu, here's how to actually achieve your new year's resolutions this time.

1. First things first, you have to actually think about your resolutions. Don't just throw stuff in there. Decide what you will repeat this year (sorry, 2014, couldn't make it), and decide on a few new ones. Ditch whatever troubled you a lot last year if you don't really want to try for it anymore. There's no point dreading your goals.

2. Right.Them.Down. Make a list. Buy (or make) a calendar and divide your time in achieving your new goals. After all, you have twelve new months ahead of you!

3. Don't make a short list of huge goals. Make a list with many smaller goals. This way you can celebrate smaller achievements that will motivate you to keep going (or to buy that cute sweater as a reward).

4. Be realistic. Don't try everything at once. If you force yourself from the first day of the year to change your habits completely, chances are that your list will 'disappear' by the end of the month.

5. Be optimistic. Leave all your 2014 let downs behind. As Tumblr says, 'there's a new blank book ahead of you. write a good one' (cliche much)

I hope this post can help you make your own list in a week's time. Let me know if you have any other good tips! Until then, happy holidays :)

Back to b(l)ack.

And yes, it's true. After graduating, being accepted at one of the best universities in the world, moving to my dream town, the only thing that makes me feel empowered is starving and looking thinner. I can't help it.

Something is stuck deep in my mind, maybe I've been brainwashed to the point that there is no turning back, maybe it's just my love for styling clothes and looking good on them. Maybe is all of these.

Apart from studying and trying to survive in this new environment of social changes, the only thing that makes me feel in control is not eating. And now the weather is finally cold enough for me to live on tea, soups and black coffee.

Yes, the only place I could express these thoughts was here. The only people who need to know, are you. And I plan on coming back to you, to all my good (and bad) habits.

Things that make me smile

I rarely get excited over things. I know. I find so many things flat, but then get all hyper about some others. So here are the silliest things that made my week.

A cup of coffee, a good movie, a sweet old couple on the tube, thai food, spinning class, a new outfit, working in the library listening to XXYYXX, some buttered toast, a camel joke, turquoise things.

November is just around the corner and things are going pretty fast around here.

THE update

It was about time, right?
I vanished and even though I was thinking about all of you all the time, I couldn't make myself post. First things first: I moved to London. Yes, finally, I managed to make one of my dreams come true. And you know what? It's (almost) everything I've been dreaming of.

A small but cosy room, nice people, hard work at uni, a fancy gym membership and some love on the side. I mean, what more could I ask? Things are going smoothly, and today I finally made the choice.

I ordered a blender. I have probably bookmarked 4 or 5 different blenders this whole year, but today I made my decision. I have to go back to where I was, health wise. I need more hours at the gym, more energy, less processed food and more good vibes. This comes with good thinking and a big-ass grocery shopping list.

I know this post is a bit of all over the place, but you have been part of my big decisions in life, and it seems that if I don't write it here, it will not happen.

A big smile from me to you :)

(sumr'14) Chapter 5. Run

June 26.
I ran. I immediately stood up, left Nick, grabbed my phone and Dima and ran to nowhere. How (and why) should I know where the first aid was? This is the one place at a festival that you wish you won't have to use.

I was high, horny, drunk and disoriented. And scared to death. My panties were dislocated somehow, and I had so much guilt. My sister was in danger and I was snogging! It was probably nothing, I thought. A mosquito? But then why the need to go to the hospital? And where the fuck is the first aid??

We arrived just as my sister was hopping on the ambulance. She was crying, she was shaking and looked so helpless. Demi started crying, too. We know my sister isn't the whiny kind. Something WAS wrong.

"She got stung by a scorpio on the foot", they informed us. They didn't seem very sure. I demanded I go with the ambulance, so I sat next to the driver and tried to keep eye contact with my sister through the little window. She was in pain, and I felt helpless to see my big sister suffering like that.

Doctors confirmed my thoughts. She was having a panic attack. I know the look of it too well. The poison was so much that her nose was getting numb. From her foot the poison had got to her nose. She had a couple of ejections soon after we arrived and calmed down.

"24 hours of hell." That's how you describe a non-lethal scorpio accident, the ambulance driver told me. "After that you just have a great story to tell to your grandkids."

And that's what it was.
24 hours of proper hell.

(sumr'14) Chapter 4. It stinks

June 26.
The morning was packed with laughs, some anxiety over the bathroom situation, coffee and sun. We changed into our bathing suits and headed right back to the grass-river location, where there was yet another DJ set. We started the sunbathing/swimming ritual early, as the sun was burning and the river was ice cold. Tattoos everywhere, water guns, music and beer. I wondered whether the two boys would look for us. And then Nick came and sat right next to me. We played cards, swam in the river, had lunch. My stomach was in real pain and my period was on its way. Great.

The whole afternoon passed with us meeting new people from the tents next to us, smoking and half sleeping. I didn't want to admit I really liked him. We hadn't exchanged any numbers or facebook names yet, so I just hoped they'd find us tonight.

And indeed they did, yet another night on the grass by the river, listening to music, dancing, smoking. I had my black and white shorts on and a black sweater because I had the period shivering. My mood was on, though. We were drinking from the same cup, singing and staring at each other. No kisses yet.

My sister and the other girl (let's call her Yianna) went to find a spot to pee, because by that time the bathrooms were gross. As soon as they left, Dima and the other guy left as well, and we were kissing like there was no tomorrow. He was touching me all over, and I was so into this whole festival flirting situation. It was the best night of my summer.

And then, the phone rang. I heard Yianna yelling:
"Something bit your sister. We are at the first aid. Can you come right now? I think they'll take her to the hospital."

my blood froze

(sumr'14) Chapter 3. Later that night

July 25th.
I kept staring for a while. He was tall, with brown hair and a grey t-shirt. Oh, how I love grey clothing on brunette men.. He also seemed a bit older. Not a chance, I thought. I might as well keep talking to the other guy, he seems really nice.
He finally came and introduced himself to me and my friend (let's call her Dima). His name was Nick. He started talking to her and his smile made me melt. Meanwhile, I needed some more alcohol. I got my friend and headed for a cocktail.

"That guy you are talking to is really hot!", Dima said.
"Are you serious?? Your guy is dreamy!", I replied, and we started laughing at the irony of the situation.

One hour later, we were all sitting on the grass by the river, listening to music and talking. I noticed a bit of a change to the situation as my sister and the other girl went to sleep. Suddenly 'my guy' was talking to my friend, and Nick was right next to me. God, his smile.

As we were packing to go to our tents, Dima left to go to the bathroom, and so did the other guy. There we were, just the two of us, under the stars, next to the river with the festival right behind us. We were talking about everything, sharing some laughs when suddenly he leaned in and kissed me. It was the most comfortable effortless first kiss ever.

We spent some more time kissing and then we separated to go to sleep. He offered to escort me to my tent, but his pass was a different colour than mine so he did not have access to where my tent was. I slept with a smile on my face, waiting for Dima to come and tell me all about her little adventure. She came back early in the morning.

They had sex.

*this is the fourth post of a number of posts that will explain and report everything about this summer. I think it is a good idea to do this like a little book themed series*

xx

(sumr'14) Chapter 2. Below the stars

July 25th.
Okay, we are settled. We picked a nice spot to camp, and our tent has now a Manchester sports flag on top, because we forgot the sun-block cover. Thanks, random guys, for the alternative. We were also lacking some other basic stuff but when you are a group of 4 women, you can find anything you need, apparently.

This could be fun, even though the place is barely organised for a festival. Booze, pot, loud music by the river, I could survive that. The shower water was ice cold. I took a quick shower, because it was starting to get dark. I then changed into my favourite Zara skirt, while I was still decent looking and had clean hair, without having 'camping survivor' written all over me. The night program was packed with different DJ sets, it was dark all around, and we were all dancing to the beat.

I was looking for some gin or tequila or even vodka, because we could only find beer/cocktails. And there he was, a guy drinking something out of a cup. I thought 'to hell, I'll ask where he found that, he looks cute'.

He was really polite, and offered to bring me some vodka-red bull next time he went to his tent to refill his cup. In the meantime, we talked about our lives, while dancing to the music. I warned him I was a biologist and I could identify if he put something in my drink (just to joke with him, but also he was a complete stranger so I had to be a little cautious). I then looked to see who he came to the festival with. And then I saw his friend.

The time stopped.

*this is the third post of a number of posts that will explain and report everything about this summer. I think it is a good idea to do this like a little book themed series*

xx

(sumr'14) Chapter 1. The beginning of the end

June 2014.
It's the last summer I'm spending on this island. Five whole years have passed, each one with wonderful memories. Some with horrible, too. I guess these are called the 'university years', and I regret nothing. In less than two months I am moving to London. One of my biggest dreams is coming true.
My classes are finally over. I am graduating on September, when I am finishing my essay and then I would be a 'biologist'. I don't know how I feel about it, but this summer is all mine. I deserve it, yet I don't have the energy to plan ahead.

July 3rd.
Having my morning coffee, I am looking around my house. My fairy lights, my minimal decoration, all these memories. I wish I had the time to make some more, last ones. In the bedroom, preferably, because George was a disaster, yet again. Why do I bother? Anyway, I would really like a summer fling right now. But I don't get that lucky with wishes, I know that.
Guess that chapter closes for me and then it's London. A blank page. It's all planned. Time flies quickly, they say.

July 24th.
I really don't feel like leaving tomorrow. I mean, a three day music festival with camping sounds fun but I don't listen to house music and I am pretty sure these will be my period days. This is my only chance to do something different this summer though. Great.
I am seeing my sister and two of my close girl friends, so there's the fun part of it. We leave far away from each other so this will be the time to catch up and dance around with alcohol by the river. I mean, between period pains and tampons. Great.

*this is the second post of a number of posts that will explain and report everything about this summer. I think it is a good idea to do this like a little book themed series*

xx

(sumr'14) Introduction.

I know I lost touch with you. I am sorry. I have missed you so much. But, I am still here, still around even though I may have lost the courage to log back onto this site. It seems I needed a time off.

I don't remember the last post I made. I won't go back and look, because I am now lost somewhere between two worlds and I would like to keep things as they are. Let me explain.

*this is the first post of a number of posts that will explain and report everything about this summer. I think it is a good idea to do this like a little book themed series*

xx

We flawless

Random thoughts. I really don't have a continuous thinking lately, I've just been all over the place. So, "beauty comes from within". Such a cliche thing to say, so much truth to it. I've seen it happening. I've seen people's faces come to life when they genuinely smile, when they are happy. When they feel good about themselves, or when they have found happiness elsewhere. When they've lost weight, or when they get some rare 'flirty' attention. They glow, and this glow comes from their eyes and expands to their surroundings.

Since I came back from London (have I even mentioned I went to London much? haha I'm pathetic) I have tried so much to be confident in being me. And depending on how I was, I am more confident but yeah, overall it's not something wow. I still feel pretty low about myself from time to time. So, after being jealous about that 'glow' some of my friends have lately, I promised myself:

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. Another cliche.

So yesterday I wore a dress and I actually felt comfortable even though I knew that this town does not approve of the 'granny' (or witch-y) look. You know the look, clean cut lines, black and pretty oversized dress, pointy ankle boots, winged eyeliner, white bag to contrast the whole look. Hideous? Flawless? There's no right answer, I guess.

It just felt like 'me'.
And that's what matters.

So, yeah, we flawless.

Anklets & Skulls

Go check my Tumblr! 

Lots of street style, black and white, tattoos, coffee and leather. I hope you like it!

I would love to add and be tumblr buddies with you :)

New In: Skin care

Returning to my house after three months, the first thing I noticed missing were my skincare products. Was I all out? Did I take them with me in London and forgot them there? Who knows.

Having purchased almost everything from Topshop make up, my make up bag couldn't really zip up. Happily enough, I kept on wearing all these products on my face, forgetting I was out of my favourite cleansing soap (Effaclar- La Rose Posay). Getting out of the shower, I looked everywhere to find a body lotion, but failed repeatedly. Where did all my Victoria's Secret body lotions go? Forget it.

So, first things first, I needed to 'donate' some money to my local drugstore. I figured, why not try something new while summer is just around the corner. So without any doubt, Korres was stuck in my head. I love this brand. LOVE it.

First stop, The Body Shop. Coconut is such a trademark smell for summer. I'm not a big fan of vanilla, but a body lotion in a spray bottle can do no wrong. Luckily the vanilla smell isn't that strong, so it's coconut all the way!

Second stop, drugstore. My local drugstore stocks up on Korrres products like no one else! It's a great store to see everything new and if you are a regular there, they always give you some sort of discount. I was curious for the sleeping facial and got so excited to receive the wild rose scrub as a present on top of a discount! Korres really knows how to please its audience. The scrub made my skin really happy, and know I'm waiting for the night time to apply the cream as well. I also got my cleansing soap, and they gave me a small Avene face suncream. Now I am all set for great glowing summer skin!

Do you have any holy grails on skin care?

Back to basics

Time flies, seriously.
The months have passed, and I am already back home. To my little island. To my huge house. To my friends, who I've missed a lot. I wish I wasn't back that soon, but in a couple of months I am going back. And I am going back for good.

Drinking iced coffee, meeting my friends, smiling a lot, having (at last) a mani pedi. Life is nice on both sides of Europe, when you feel calm and loved, right? Right.

I would like to ramble a bit in this post. I have lots of 'life plans' to talk to you about, but I'm not feeling like it atm. So talk talk about nails, shall we?
I tried maybe too hard for a mani pedi in London but they were all so expensive. Then, when I found an offer and booked it, the girl never showed up for the service. Ah. So I came home with the thirst of clean and well groomed nails unsatisfied. I woke up the next morning and called my lovely nail salon and they booked me a double appointment the time I wanted. Now THAT'S service.
Now my nails look so fresh and pretty! I chose to do a white colour on the fingernails, which I've never done before, and a dark navy blue on the toes. I will definitely do white again!! I love the minimalism of basic colours.

What is your favourite summer nail colour?

Deep

"Pretty and intelligent is a full time job"

I have been thinking a lot about this quote the past few days. If you take the obvious sarcasm out of it, you can actually see the truth between these words.

After deciding that London is indeed where I want to spend my following years (two? five? a lifetime?), I strive daily to be what people call 'presentable'. You have to look nice, be well dressed for any occasion during your day, to be well informed about serious news AND know the cool places to hang out. All that, if you want to make the most out of this city, to meet new people and move your -still young- life forward.

But being pretty and intelligent IS a full time job. If you don't have these skills naturally, that is. Some days I wake up and feel comfortable with myself but others, oh my, I feel the ugliest most dumb person on this planet. But no one really cares, except from your family and some friends, really. You need to put your shit together, look in the mirror and believe in yourself before this city swallows you.

Maybe some of you think I am overreacting. Seriously though, I find it hard. Moving from a capital city to an island and then to one of the biggest cities in the world seems scary to me, since I haven't figured out who I am yet- and coming to terms that maybe I never will.

Weird personal post -beware-

Time is going by so fast. May is literally around the corner and I have mixed feelings about it. London has been the best thing that has happened to me in these couple of years. With the ups and downs. With the struggle and the parties. With the cocktails (had a couple of margaritas yesterday).

It's an eye-opener. Opportunities arise, ones you never thought of having. Career paths, shopping deals, interesting people, my sister; I'm sold. Leaving in about 15 days will be a very difficult task but it's all for the best because I will be back.

I've been extremely down the past days. After a serious conversation with my sister, I am feeling so much better. I am realising how it is to be normal inside your soul, and it's such a nice feeling. To let the happiness get you, to smile, to talk about your passions, to be loved. Letting your guards down. Fear has been holding me back. Fear of change, of letting people down, of people talking about my decisions...well guess what, people are ALWAYS going to talk. So I might as well be happy, because the people I am afraid of letting down are the people who ask me about only one thing: to be a happy person (literally a tear runs down). And this year I wasn't. I hate being a flat person. I hate trying to prove I'm smart by doing science, when all I want to do is work my ass off in a management/marketing company while getting certified as a yoga instructor. That's it, I said it.

I am afraid of changing a career path. But I am so exhausted by being in the science world, trying to prove I like it. I manage perfectly in there, yes, but I am not happy. I get panicked when I think that this might be for life (another tear, sorry guys).

We are all waiting for a reply from UCL. I really don't give a fuck about being accepted or not. It's a burden for me. My sister has helped me a lot, making it sound somehow doable, and insisted I go for it 'to rest my soul'. It breaks my heart that it is that obvious how unhappy I am inside my head to the people I love.

I have seen how it is to be happy and I want that. Why do I feel bad for this? I cannot handle any more pressure. Enough.

Ding, ding!

So. This is a topic I haven't posted about in a long time.
FOOD

This past six months I have been working with a nutritionist in order to lose weight while balancing my health at the same time, which had hit complete rock bottom. Sticking to a weekly diet plan is not difficult for me, as I can show complete dedication to things I am motivated enough. I managed to lose 3 kilos, a number that does not sound enough, but it was all fat so the loss was significant. I also stopped taking pills and vitamins and really depended on my diet to be healthy and full of energy. All in all, success!

Coming to London I had to stop meeting my nutritionist, so I was now in charge of my every day intake. Having a background of bingeing, and a love/hate relationship with food, I knew things are going to be difficult. And then there's the variety; sandwiches, cookies, cupcakes, lattes, restaurants and things 'you must try' can become an every day thing, if you let it.

Hot yoga ain't gonna save me. Some days I wake up determined to keep a small intake and choose all the healthy options possible- because they are, too, everywhere. Others, I just can't get enough. Seriously.

I am constantly moving. Cycling, ab videos on YouTube, yoga classes, taking the stairs whenever possible. I have become fitter, but not thinner. But I am so easy to put on weight that I really need to behave. I am eating too much for a girl who is on an ETERNAL weight loss program. So, ding ding!!

"Quit your membership to clean plate club"
-Naturally Thin  (while I am not going to read it, this sounds so right)

I really love this picture.

London Outfit Series no2

Everyday I see beautiful girls with so much style passing by, sitting next to me, waiting for the bus. I hope they don't notice that I look at them from top to bottom, trying to think how or why they picked the certain outfit. It can get pretty creepy if you think about it.

I always try to pick a well-put together outfit for the day. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I get mad as soon as I walk out of the door. Dark outfits (usually black) is my motto since my high school years. What changed is my nail color. I love love love dark (dark dark) blue nails. Never black.

The trainers was a (sad? maybe not) attempt to try the sporty chic look wearing 'heavy duty' trainers. It felt alright, although I missed my converse.

p.s. As far as my hair color is concerned, I should note that I tried to lighten my ends a couple of weeks ago. It's not very visible, but it gave me the 'change' I needed at the time. I will have a proper hair salon appointment soon though.

The world at your feet

The fashion information I've been getting walking around the streets of London is too high! Distressed jeans, ankle boots, plain white shirts, minimal layering, total black outfits, perfect eyeliner wings, perfect everything.

Lately I have developed a major foot (or shoe) fetish. When your style is 'street chic minimal' jewellery and shoes are all you care for. And this season, when clothes don't impress me much, you can find EVERYTHING you need in accessories.

I really don't have the money for these candy shoes I stalk online, but it doesn't hurt to look (and dream), right?? And who knows, maybe one day I'll get a box to love...

these are my top picks for spring-summer, although I get it's not everyone's cup of tea.
everything Senso

and the affordable style dose. I love them to bits and they are not animal print stuffed, as they are two toned. (Vans Era, obviously)

*from this post on, I will be replying to individual comments so keep checking for awesome feedback!

xx

How Hot

Being in the UK already for two weeks, I needed to find a way to exercise to stay toned and keep my mind focused. But everything was so fucking expensive for just two months. Gym memberships in particular, because you need to pay a 'starting fee' as well. So when I found a deal I booked it without second thoughts. I am so glad I did! (tomorrow everything will hurt but oh well)

I like practising yoga. It calms me down and helps me not to binge. So it's a win- win. Weather-wise London is going great! Spring is here, it seems, and I am even happier that I can layer up and go to work without a coat.

Of course I got everything I needed from Victoria's Secret. Yoga pants, tank tops and sports bra. Here I am ready to leave the house, with a top that says 'I hate running'.
And I really do.

xx

The second.

Friday night. I literally just got out of the shower and I saw a mouse running in front of me. Welcome to London, I guess. I am not utterly surprised, because of my recent work with animal models, my tired ass after many hours of lab work today and obviously, because of London.

So I am sitting ON the desk, writing a post. I like to be honest here because well, what's the point of not being honest to your own blog. London is difficult. You got commute every day, long hours of work, frustration and dry skin. I mean, my skin itches and my scalp looks like a snowy mountain. Nightmare.

Of course the positive list is MUCH much longer, so I am going to stay for a while here. Yes, I got accepted in one of my two master's that I have applied for this September! I mean it is my second option, but at least a have a back up. So now I wait for 'the email'. Wish me luck! On another note, weekends are cool. Coffees, shopping, long lunches, walking and having drinks with so many new people.

So, what should I do now? I need to reach the bedroom to apply some -a lot- lotion, blow dry my hair and obviously sleep. Oh! I also need to book a hairdresser's appointment. Any ideas for a new colour?? I need to go lighter, but not blonde.

I love this picture.

Finally.

Finally.
I managed to log in to my account. I mean, it was really 'suspicious' that I logged in from a different country, right? They had me change my password and I couldn't figure out how to do it without giving them my phone number. Seriously. But all is well now.

Anyway, enough with the rambling.Two weeks have already passed and I am having such a lovely time! It's ridiculously sunny here, so I don't have ANY complaints to report.

Work is fine. I mean I am learning so many things, and I really get a good vibe from everyone there. I work from 10 to 5 most of the days, or probably until 6. It's just really far away from where I live, but now that I have figured out the underground, it works!

Shopping-wise, I have visited COS for the first time, and I fell in love. I mean the clothes are really simple and quality-looking, and the jewellery are to die for. I got a few things, and I have some more on the list. It's a really long list, from Topshop, to Urban Outfitters, to Monki.

I'm not feeling this post very much, but I really wanted to make an update here for you all.

More coming up!

This is the day

Finally the day has come. The last day here, on my beautiful island, my lovely house and all my friends and memories. I will be back, don't get me wrong, but living in London -and not just holidaying- is a major dream of me.

The fact that I have only two exams left for graduation makes things even nicer. I have my nails done, my suitcase almost ready and in a couple of hours I booked a professional hair straightening at a salon. I remember when I used to have them monthly, just to treat myself. But not any more.

I already have my week scheduled
Wednesday: I am flying to London and I have plenty of things to study for the lab.
Thursday: First day at the lab!! Wish me luck.
Friday: Dinner with sister and friends at an Italian restaurant
Saturday: Shopping and Party :)

I got to be honest, this looks good.

Explain

I disappeared, I know. It's been over a week, I know. I should explain.

My exams are well over. Something magic happened between all the shivering, the studying, the crying, the studying, the over-eating, the no-eating, the studying. I passed 3 out of my 4 exams with good grades! I mean, I was expecting to get a 2/4 result, but 3/4 was only a dream. One exam and I graduate. One fucking exam!

So, London. Many of you have some questions. I will try and explain what, when, where, how.

WHAT: I am going to do an internship at a neuroscience laboratory in London. It's something that I could write on my CV, it's an experience for me and it's a chance to live in London for some time, see if I can love it even more.

WHEN: Well, I am leaving for London on Tuesday. I don't know if I will start the internship right away, or wait until Monday. I guess they will tell me. I will stay there for two and a half months.

WHERE: London, duh. Of course I cannot write the name of the workplace here. Reason is obvious.

HOW: Through my university and the lab I was working at last year. The recommended me and gave me this amazing opportunity. My sister lives in London, so this is where I am going to stay.

I really can't think of anything else, so if you still have questions, leave them in the comment section!

I've missed you!!

Cat eyeliner

I feel like I've been m.i.a for ages, even though it was only probably a week or so. It's crazy how stress and exams and life (on top on things) can take your mind away.

My exams are over. It all went okay, even though I already failed one out four. But I did much much better on the rest of them, so I was kind of expecting such a result. Wednesday was the final one and as soon as I gave my paper I went to the park for coffee. I did my nails, waxed my eyebrows, went for coffee, cocktails, to the cinema; it was really relaxing. But now I got the second part of the 'running around'. I got a presentation on Monday, a semi-exam on Thursday and an essay to write. Universities are SO fun, don't you think?

Anyway, I don't want to complain any more. In three weeks I'm going to be in sunny-rainy-moody-cloudy-FreakingAwesome London! Sure I am going to work and study there, but I will also be with my sister, go for shopping, sushi, lattes... I hope we have a great time living together.

I don't think I have much to tell you right now. I'm still trying to wake up with a black black iced coffee. We'll see how that goes!

(this is not a sponsored Valentine's Day post, obviously!)
xx

Lust

Enough with the bad thoughts (hopefully)! I have here the ultimate spring collection. Zara has really stepped up their game lately (and their prices along...). I think they kept the minimal lines and the clear cuts, but added a splash a colour that their winter collection lacked at, and that is a must for spring. And yes! No florals -at least none yet. I really hope I can find some of these items on Tuesday at my local store. Shopping may (or may not) take my mind off things for a while.

Which is your favourite?
(pictures from Zara Website- Woman and TRF sections)

This is pure madness.

February.

Finally, a new start, because apparently the new year wasn't classified as 'a new start' for me. Don't get me wrong, in the big picture (if and when I want to see it) it's been a good year so far but stress is all over me. Not the productive kind, no. The paranoia hit me this past week. Yesterday was a bad day too.

The fact that my graduation date is coming closer IF I pass my exams really stresses me out. I mean, I can't sleep, think, laugh, study, eat (or I over-eat, of course). Everyone tries to calm me down but then they think that it is so silly and that I am overreacting. Which I am, but I don't do it on purpose. I try to convince myself to keep calm.

Today is a better day. But these panic waves come and go so who knows. The exam on Tuesday is an easy one to study (not to pass), so I'd better relax and do it. One week and a half left. On the 12th I have my last one and then I can finally calm down. Whatever happens.
I still have a presentation, an essay and another test to write but they're not that stressful. And next month I'd be at rainy London. I try to remember how much I wanted it, because right now this causes me even more stress.

Madness. Pure madness.

(from the gypsyone tumblr)

Not feeling it

It's almost been a week now of shivering, fear and stress. I don't cope well with exams, and that is a 'skill' I lost at 17, at my final exams for senior high school. A nightmare I still remember.

Today I had my first exam. It went well, I think. Last night my house had no power and no water (strikes, strikes everywhere) so I was even more stressed while trying to remain sane and revise. I am trying to keep myself calm by all means: yoga, meditation music while sleeping, valerian extract pills, lavender relaxing mist on my pillow. All combined, they help. Luckily!

I also lost a whole kilo, which is the positive side note. I like laying down on my stomach to sleep and feeling every inch of your stomach matching with the mattress. That said, I am still consulting a nutritionist and trying everything the healthy way, it's just this feeling. This. Feeling.

Body Rambling

I just thought I'd pop into here and wish you all a lovely Wednesday. I am feeling way more calm than last week (getting my period definitely helps) and I am back on track in my nutrition. I am half way through de-bloating and starting again for achieving weight loss!

Couple of people have again commented on me having lost some weight, it's a fact now. I thought I would feel amazing, like they are giving me a huge compliment. Well, you know what? Now that I can see it myself, I have worked and bled for it, I don't need no fucking 'compliment'. The quotes here are for the friends who say it as an obligation, as an obvious 'this cup of coffee is nice' type of thing. But okay, no hate. I do this for myself, I will continue to do it until I feel ah-mazing. To the others, who genuinely are happy for my achievement, thank you so much.

You know, I am not being a bitch here. My friends as well as my 'friends' know that I have almost been hospitalised due to my nutrition. That I feel confident in a thinner body and I strive for that. In bad ways and in good ways. So now that I have never been healthier, a cheer would be nice.

But again, this is a personal goal and I would first cheer with myself, before letting anybody ruin it for me. I should probably get back to studying, keep me in your prayers.

some outfit inspiration.
must-not-shop-until-London-time.
seriously though.

Stay focused

I spend my days indoors. I try to give myself the push that is needed to commit to studying. I get a lot of sleep, eat a lot (a LOT damn it) and stay as calm as possible. Some days pills help. If I pass these four exams I am on my way out of this university, town, island and country. I can start the next step and my life will change. I don't know whether for the better or the worse, but I am a person that needs change every now and then. So *fingers crossed*

Today I booked my London tickets. I am leaving on March for a three month internship that has nothing to provide me but experience and a change from this scenery. I will take both, thank you. I am excited that I can post and update you from London in a little while. Aren't you?

Jan 15

These past days have been a little blah. Blah is a word I use to describe several things, so I am not sure you got the idea but oh, well. Exams are getting close, and I can't yet again force myself to behave and start the hardcore studying.

I felt I had to make an update about the boy though. After hours of texting during the holidays (we live at different towns), two nights of pure amazing sex and a couple of glasses of wine, I think we are 'compatible'. But we live apart, like one hour by plane apart. Eight hours by boat apart. So we didn't do the silly thing; that is to create a long distance relationship out of the blue. And we both decided on that.
But he got a different mind. So he started texting me, saying that he wished I was there, and he misses me and stuff like that. All of these apply to me too, I just don't want a relationship with my computer (my lovely gorgeous Macbook Air haha). So next month, and before I leave for London he is going to visit me for 3-4 days. Just to live everything again. I am happy about that, but I am going even further away than I am now. I am afraid of what he might ask of me -to keep a long distance one.

I don't want to rush my thoughts so far though.
We shall see.

black outfit and coffee, how not to fall in love?

Buckle Up

I said I'd post soon, yet it's so long past new year's eve that I almost feel dizzy when I think about it. The days went by so so quickly. I had a really good time, I had some shitty time, but if I add everything up it was a good two-week holiday!

As you can probably tell I am back home. Back to my island, back to reality, to school. And this is hopefully the last time I am coming back here after Christmas holidays (I am planning to graduate this year). 2014 has only just begun, but I have everything planned to the minute. So I have one and only resolution this year: make my plans happen!

and if you don't know it by now, I have the biggest girl crush on her! *and if you visit her site you know what my hair colour inspiration is. crazy old picture by the way

As for the New In, I don't know what kind of demon has possessed me, but I am sooo into lipsticks lately. Which I guess is a good thing, because all the blackness of my outfits get some colour action. So after my first disaster on the Mac counter I did my research and got two matte shades, *Please Me* and of course *Ruby Woo*.
I also got a Zara polka dotted crop top (black with white dots) and with the Ruby Woo and straight straight chocolate hair I was so 'retro' on a night out, I had so much fun just feeling different than usual (if I don't sound that stupid right now).

Until next time,
xo