Barbie.

Now that is what I call "a holiday".

Four days, not an hour longer but had so much fun. I went with a group of people I didn't know, my cousin's friends at two different islands with a private boat. Oh, how I love boats! We got to sleep in too so I'm still kinda dizzy but it was worth it! My tan is great too :)

I lost half a kilo (from the one I gained last week) but I felt so fat walking around in my bikini 24/7. I will try to be inspired by this trip and stay motivated.

I also got to make some new friends, everyone was so great.

Now I have one week with my family and next Sunday I'm flying home.

Finally :)

About a ticket..

I had to return to the city, far away from the chickens and the sea, at the hottest day of the summer. Not so clever I must say, but my sister is coming tonight for holidays! It's been a month since I visited her and I've missed her.. she's working though so she will only stay for a week.

I honestly shower with ice cold water three times a day. Once in the morning to go out for coffee, once before my afternoon catch-up with friends and once to be able to sleep. Who can sleep in a burning bed?? I have my sleep issues already and this hot hot weather does not help! My eyes look so tired all the time.

You could think that with all this heat I wouldn't be able to eat, right? God I feel like eating all the time. My mom wants me to cook every day so that I learn some nice recipes. It's cool but I HATE spending time in the kitchen. I think I have gained about a kilo....

Next week I'm going on mini holidays with some people I don't know. My cousin invited me to her summerhouse and I freaking love this house. So I am going and fingers crossed I'll have a nice time.

I'm off to starbucks now to meet a friend I haven't seen in months. Probably since christmas so we have lots to catch up. (oh, the starbucks near my house have the cutest and most handsome barista EVER- too bad I'm not going there today haha).

I think I'm going to wear my jeans skirt. I have no other choice, when I go out with long jeans AND cardigan on the hottest day of the year I get weird looks.

But who can blame them?

Mwaa!

I hate my summer house is so old fashioned. No internet connection whatsoever. Of course. All there is are chickens and trees.. I like spending time with my father though.

So I will be away from my blog for quite some time. Again. I don't want to.. but I am going to get tanned and study a bit because my September exams are coming sooner than I thought.

So a big BIG kiss to all of you. Have a wonderful summer time and for my friends-followers at the other side of the world, don't be too jealous, we are melting here!!

I LOVE YOU!!

Wonderland

Now I have access to my blog I can't stop posting, can I?

I am happy today. I am definitely happier now that I am back to eating just a special K bar and plain coffee for breakfast and not philadelphia bagels and chocolate chips cookies -my god. Back to feeling dizzy and weak. It makes me happy to see my already baggy clothes fall on me without my belly holding them.. I love these little silver dots I see when I stand up. Have you seen them? It's magic (I know it's also a hint to eat or lie down but I've missed them so much).

Maybe I should let you know that I am aware of this situation. I know the paragraph I just wrote is pure craziness. But as long as my head doens't hurt and I don't fall to the floor, why is it so wrong to feel good about myself? Sadly this is the way for me.

In a couple of hours I am meeting two friends for lunch at TGI Friday's. Am I nervous? Not a lot. I know what to order and what to avoid. But let's face it. It's suicide for my stomach no matter what I eat. I don't mind because (I have written this so many times) I must find the good side of everything and stay happy.

It's not about me anymore. I'm hurting the people who love me -cause I've realised there are some people who love me, yes. So it's basically about them. If I deserved to be loved then they don't deserve what I am doing to them. I will stay happy for as long as I can and everyone will be okay no?

p.s. Spell check doesn't work so forgive me for ANY mistakes...

Choose wisely

Me and ex cancelled. I don't know why, I know I woke up not wanting to go and it seems he didn't either. Perfect, right? I wish I could explain to him.

I got to meet two friends from school. We used to be best friends with these two girls but things have changed. These past three years only one thing was made clear to me: relationships suck, as much as the world sucks. I have been hurt twice and once more, and now I am careful. I think I will never again use the words "best friend". I know I have hurt people around me as much as I have been hurt, it takes two to tango, they say, so I am careful now.

I just had to go out with this girl (L) I used to share all my high school time with. Now we are two complete strangers and it's so hurtful for me, being a girl who at the age of one until 16 had another girl (D) to share their lives with. A twin, if you will, our names will be forever connected for some people. With her we are fine, but oh well...

Today I found myself not wanting to chat with her about my life. I didn't want to tell her about my relationships, my university, my holidays.

Now I use the term "close friend". I think it suits me more.

Between.

After a looooong time I got the chance to sign in to my blog. What a joy!! Thank you all for wishing me for my birthday, I was very happy to read your comments.

I came back from London, where I had a great time. Kaiser Chiefs were SO good I didn't want them to get off the stage so The Killers could perform. But actually they were awesome too, they had these fireworks and Hyde Park was so wet of the rain (we were wet too) so it was a very magical moment :)

I have only been to the beach twice and got the least tan I could, even though I tried -safely. I am meeting all my hometown friends and even though I don't feel very good about myself or going out, I have been so busy having a nice time. I have been feeling very fat (of course, you are 57 and you deserve it after all the Nandos and Busabas and cupcakes and Snogs, dear) but now I'm home I try to eat only when my parents watch me. I will stay home alone for five days so I have some time to try and make up :)

I am meeting my ex tomorrow, too.I have mixed feelings about that though.. We had a very twisted relationship mostly because I didn't know what I wanted and I am nervous to see how he's been two years later.. We never stopped talking and texting every few months and now it's summer and my inhibitions are kinda low to be honest.

Anyway I will have some time to post and comment these days so I want to catch up with all of you!! Leave me a comment :D