like you can't decide if you like yourself, if you deserve others to like you, if you are having fun, if you are the way you supposed to be..
and then everyone pushes you to enjoy yourself. because years pass by. and then you get too stressed when you realise you are not able to feel happiness. but then you do -just for a little while.
I have never been more confused in my life. There were always periods of time when I knew I wasn't happy, when I knew I didn't have what I wanted and knew what to do to make things change.
But lately..oh lately I am so fucking messed up. I really try to be happy, to make new friends, to have new things going on but it's ALWAYS something fucking missing.
Am I just spoiled?
The minute I find myself I promise you girls would be the first to know. :)
In other news, this week's schedule is filled with gym hours. Every day at 3.30 p.m
I have to do something about this gap between my legs.. it must show at all times. I'll work for that..
I'm gonna switch on this "happy button" as soon as I find it!
I promise.
Sometimes I wonder if there really is ANYTHING that will make me happy. Some days I feel I've found it, others I catch myself sabotaging my own happiness. I'm a ball of confusion as well. Good luck finding that happy button girl :) <3 Jade
ReplyDeleteI believe you can't always be happy. And you don't notice you're happy until the moment passed. For me happiness are the little things; nice weather, a good grade, a fun joke, good music, ... Don't look to hard for happiness. If you do you'll overlook it and miss it.
ReplyDeleteHappiness is difficult to find. But it's even more difficult to keep it. One moment you feel like you found happiness, and the next moment the feeling's gone. But it returns when you least expect.
ReplyDeleteYou'll find happiness eventually, don't worry.
I feel very similarly. I feel like I have glimpses and moments of happiness. And that very often whilst I'm happy, I'm waiting for reality to hit and the happiness to end. I don't know if I believe in long term happiness for myself.
ReplyDeletethe whole happiness thing is confusing to me, too. only thing i can really see to do is to do things that make me happy&to do things that make other people happy. but i've got to have both. but that's just the thought that fell out of my head just now. nothing super snazzy. stay strong, darling. keep looking for that happy button.
ReplyDeletexoxo
zette
happiness is such a relative term anyway. it's only usually after the event that I can look back and think 'oh yes, i was really happy there'
ReplyDeletehaving fun can be a whole world away from being happy.
you just have to try and do what's right for you, without hurting others. that's all we can try for! xx