How low can you go?

So this is the new reality for me, apparently.

My parents called four times today. My dad almost cried. What a joy, I made my dad this unhappy. I don't feel nice about it, I bought my new pills today. They are pink and really cheap (1.40 euro and the box has 20 of them). I must take 2 per day followed by an orange juice. Must. For 15 days. And THEN we might see some improvement (that means more blood tests).

It's cool. I can do this.

So I spent all the day thinking. So that is why all the silly things I enjoyed doing had no fun lately. Like going to the supermarket (my big love wondering around the floors), or mopping the floor and shopping. That's why when my sister asked what do I want her to bring from NY I said nothing. She realised sth is wrong, cause the last time my list had about 20 things -she brought like 3 but that's not the point. Because I am sick. Sounds funny.

So what do I do now? I mean thinspo-wisely. It's not sth you forget from a day to another. I thought I have a main meal at around 3 which will contain the correct foods:

• Meat/fish/poultry
• Fruits: Orange, Orange Juice, cantaloupe, strawberries, grapefruit etc
• Vegetables: Broccoli, brussels sprouts, tomato, tomato juice, potato, green & red peppers
• White wine

too bad spinach is not in there..

I can't think and I realise that now, it's the problem. I'll try my best and do this. Tmrrw I will force myself to go to Zara and actually buy sth (oh, god this is not me saying that, is it??) because I have nothing to wear at classes.

I'm off to go wash my hair, I feel them funny. Hope I don't loose them, this is the thing I like most about my self. Don't get that away from me.

I sound pathetic, I know.