I'm back at my home, on my island reading your blogs and studying Classic Genetics -welcome, new semester! I had a ..nice time over the weekend with both good and bad times, and some boring ones I must admit. So things didn't go quite as I had planned and of course my head ached too, with my parents noticing it. Of course we are not the kind of family that runs to the doctor, but with all these stuff lately I was sent to have excessive blood tests right away. And man that was fast, my results are out already. Mummy called as I was on the boat and started yelling.
Lets quote: "AnnaM yes, your results are out and I already had a doctor to see them. So yes, they are worse than ever, she actually said that whoever owns this results must be already crawling from bed to bed, and you are talking to me about yoga??
ferritin simply does not exist and you are highly anemic, your headaches is just the start of it all, soon a memory loss problem will follow and you won't be able to think. oh, almost forgot, my hair will fall too."
Ha, I know that already, why do you think I failed my exams and cannot do a fucking thing right mom??
Okay, WHY?
Because all I can see is me starving myself to the point that I cannot think and remember anything (expect what I ate yesterday.. that's quite easy, nothing!) and for what? I haven't lost a fucking pound, I feel more huge than ever and everyone keeps telling me how skinny I am. Then why does the stupid scale show 56.5? Even 57?
Result: Starting from tmrrw, two pills each day. And food. The right food and in correct amounts. I know another funny story though, the pills I can take, but with the food we'll have a problem I'm so sorry.
So let's end this post with the line my mum told me before we get the results.
"I didn't let you study in London, because the weather is nicer here and the food is better. But fuck it, your only concern is not to gain weight. Really, I don't see the point of you being so stupid about this."
-and you know what? I cannot see it either..
I'm sorry all this is happening to you :/
ReplyDeleteHang in there though...I know staying strong is easier said than done, but just know that we are all out here to support you! :) :)
Take your vitamins and supplements...put yourself first and figure out your priorities.
Good luck, hun!!
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
I'm sorry your sick-er! keep up the vitamins and pills... and take the food one step at a time, start small and safe with fruit and veg and get used to the feeling of food in your body so you don't freak out.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself!! there's no use in being thin if you can't enjoy it.
Feel better soon xxx
this is the problem with eating disorders, they follow you anywhere!
ReplyDeleteplease be careful, because what you actually want is Live, ain't it? don't play games with stuff like that, okay?
stay strong! :)