Joined the club.

At last.
So many things I want to share with you in this post, I'm just not sure where to begin.. Within 3 days everything changed. This whole week I was so nervous I couldn't sleep cause of what happened last year and the one before this time of the month. I was wandering around the house the entire night, I couldn't eat and I am still shaking cause I stopped my pills.

Yesterday was my nameday, and my.. 'party'. It wasn't that great cause of my friend's boyfriend that was being such an ass all the time looking at me and looking at my boyfriend and made her so jealous. I really really wonder why she is still with him.. The important thing is that me and my new best friend here (let's call her E.) got so drunk and had a great time, inspite of all the mean looks and my ex best friend being at the same club and didn't even wished me happy nameday..

Anyway.. when I said my boyfriend, well I mean Di.(don't want to say the whole name, even though I may have mention it on previous posts, I don't remember..)

We got to speak seriously this time, I told him everything I felt (in a strict way, that's only how it works sometimes..) and he told me stuff, so I decided to give it a try. I know I can't be seriously hurt since I can't feel much.
Yesterday we went home after the club and he was so nice. We had ..well you know and it was my first actual time (actual? don't ask, looong story). There it is, I said it!!!
I mean it was great and I was never a romantic type of girl, so I really wanted to do this with him.
So I did it :)


What else is new, my scale this morning showed 55.8!!! I was so hungry, I feel dizzy all the time and I'm shaking, but I'm so freaking happy! On wednesday that mum arrives I have to eat normally for 4 whole days, so I want to loose as much as I can till then.

So here's a picture of Gisele even though I don't like celeb thinspo..
I find this one looks so perfect:
beautiful, skinny, calm and happy.
That what I wish for me, and all of you :)