Monday, 12 December 2011

An unexpected post.

I am calm right now. I decided to post when the craziness has gone, and I think this is the time. I'm feeling okay, laying on my bed with my towel and silly shower headband on my hair. Christmas lights on, warm room and some lavender smelling in the air.
Of course anyone who can see me in public will notice: bitten nails, fast walk, awkwardly looking down, headphones cutting me off from the world.
I don't feeling comfortable with the world lately, no. I feel people looking at me and hear the voices. You know what voices, we've all heard them.
"Omg, look at this girl, doesn't she know she looks like that?",
"was it necessary to wear THAT top? you look so fat",
"your hair looks ridiculous",
"what are YOU looking at me, go look yourself at a mirror",
and so on...it can seriously drive you crazy, if not lead you to a panic attack.

but no. I breathe deeply and convince myself that I am a nice, interesting person to meet and yes, sometimes I am pretty. End of story.

smile to the world.feel safe in your body.
maybe that will be on my resolutions this year...
Posted by at

5 comments:

  1. ~Nessa~13 December 2011 at 01:49

    I am behind on reading, but kudos to breathing and convincing yourself that are the amazing/awesome person we all see. :)

    Keep your chin up, and try to smile. Scientists have proven that even if it's a fake smile, happy chemicals are still released in the brain. <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. VictoriaCrimson13 December 2011 at 02:56

    I think that's a spectacular New Year's Resolution. We always rest our happiness on other things, we should make it a goal within itself!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Peridot (G+P)13 December 2011 at 11:52

    I am also one of the headphone-on shut-off walkers. Some guys actually yelled at me to stop so they could try to sell me local music 0.0; I think my SoaD was up a little too loud for their liking.

    You have three person's worth of Pretty, interesting and Sheer Awesomeness condensed into one person. It is simply too much to process all at once, which is why your brain plays those tricks on you.

    Those are good resolutions. Mine are far more boring. Get full motorcycle license; get bigger bike. *Sigh*

    Love you! *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  4. Does It Even Matter13 December 2011 at 23:20

    I wish i could have your positive outlook!! Most times when I go into public I think everyone is just staring at me and thinking about how fat and ugly I am. Sometimes I don't even wanna go outside. : / I will try to be more positive......although sometimes trying isnt enough ya know?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous18 December 2011 at 04:07

    i feel like everyone is looking at me whether im at the gym, at a club, or restraunt.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)