Sunday, 18 December 2011

The sleepless weekend Vol2

I kept staring at the ceiling. Random thoughts. Mixed feelings. Do I want him here? Holding my feet warm, filling my glass of wine, making me laugh. Do I even want to be here? Looking at the ceiling so hard I could almost feel in coming down at me. Would it really matter, if the ceiling would match the floor? Would it be that bad? Drink some more wine, tell me about your past.. Don't make me do this, I will break your heart before I could even hold it in my hands. Mine is non functional, apparently. That's pretty obvious.

You like to notice things. I keep secrets, I'm weird, I like staring at candles, I don't eat, I drink. My hair smells nice. Why would you say that? Don't. Don't try to understand me, I never could. I'm not a player, I'm not a selfish bitch, I'm not heart broken from the love of my life. You cannot "cure" me, so don't bother trying.

Save yourself.

7 comments:

  1. I know how you feel.
    But saving ourselves?
    Impossible.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know the feeling...

    <3
    Haley

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know how you feel but I've learnt the hard way that sometimes, just sometimes, it's ok to let people in ever so slightly. It is ok to not completely shut yourself off from them.
    Doing this doesn't mean that they are saving you, it more means that you are 'saving' yourself.
    It's hard to 'change' us and 'cure' us but we'll be alright in the end.
    Love Anafly
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. I read your posts and I feel like I'm reading my own writing.
    Take a chance hun, you may never look back.

    Si xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. We can't save ourselves. The best we can do is find someone who is okay with how we are and wont pressure us to change.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I dont think your damaged. ^zapfire^ I agree, she is aware her relationship with skinny is the most important. Maybe he wont fit... But maybe he will? If he wants you, he will work for it. Im chubs now but ive been way thinner, skinny still feels better than food will ever taste. The quote is beyond true.

    ReplyDelete