Thinking back on when we first met

Okay, so today every girl on the street was looking at me. Like, what the fuck. My friend noticed it, too. I mean I was occupied with dizziness cause I only had water and coffee for like 20 hours and I was just feeling great going shopping with E. Every girl who passed us was starring at me like in my stomach-chest area and at first we were laughing but as it continued we were rather scared. E kept looking at me trying to find something that stood out but I was all "normal". I was wearing my oversized light green shirt with a cute necklace. I really don't know.

In other news, I really forced myself to eat today. I am getting this feeling again that eating is such a waste of money, time and water when doing the dishes. I know though this isn't something normal to believe in. It worries me, really. I don't want to get mentally sick (well, more than I already am) cause people can see and cause it will ruin my life.

RANDOM MONDAY THOUGHTS. <-- it's a section I am trying, every post will have a little ranting, tell me if you would like to read my crazy way of thinking.
I need to go get my eyebrows shaped again, before going home. On saturday (when the..date was) I was feeling so ugly. His friends came at the bar too and there was a lot of starring to see who I am, what I look like, cause he has/had a major crush on me for a while (year and a half). I was aware of all this starring and kept thinking: oh, my.. What will they think? I am so ugly and I am playing hard to get, I mean really. Why do they even smile at him, they should tell him I am not worth all this. Kept drinking and feeling awkward but at the same time I was smiling and pretending to be so cool and mainstream.

While most of the times, well, I AM NOT.