Weekends are not for me, clearly. Because of this bank holiday, my yoga instructor cancelled the two classes we had so I spend my mornings on the elliptical machine and working out my abs and back. Well yoga helps me stay calm too, so I wasn't prepared for not having.
Who would know that these no-yoga days would be the days that
. I would have to do this -hard enough for the anemic AnnaM- diet
. my ex would appear from nowhere and I would refuse to talk to him
. I would binge in public with all my friends gossiping around
. meet this cute boy who I actually cannot admit I like. Why? Because I feel a total failure and of course he won't "notice" me
. I would realise I'm having some extra white stretch marks. Thanks a lot.
Trying to stay calm enough until tomorrow's yoga class I decided to let go of the diet for the weekend and downloaded a huge amount of yoga related songs.
Tomorrow I'm back on track, I don't know if that counts though. DAY 3. In the place of DAY5.
Who can help me get out of this misery?
I kept cleaning and cleaning my house today. I try to make it perfect. You have already seen how it looks like.I figured out that if I can't perfect my body, my relationships or my uni grades, I might at least perfect my house. So I on-line ordered a wall sticker for my bedroom. It's in form of an old street lamp, in black and I thought it would be perfect for my dark purple empty wall. When it arrives and I stick it I will post a picture!
At two and a half hours I have to be all ready cause E is picking me up. A friend of ours is playing DJ at the bar so I have to be all bubbly and nice. I know I won't. Maybe the cute boy will be there, too. Even worse.. I don't feel confident, I don't feel sexy. I just want to go to sleep.
I'm afraid though I'm missing out. I want to be able to not care and have fun instead.
Long rambling post. Oh, 57.5 this morning. That was.. kind of you, dear scale.
I know tomorrow you will be such a bitch! But okay, I know I deserve it cause I'm a bitch too.
But bitches can get crazy without yoga, you know!!
I've been considering starting Yoga for awhile now. After seeing how much it calms you down I might just try it haha.
ReplyDeleteI like the pic, stay strong girlie <3
Hey beauty, im sure you'll be ok and as you say you are making up for it all on the eliptical etc!
ReplyDeleteyou can always go on youtube- they have yoga vids to go along with?
xoxo
i LOVE LOVE yoga! it is awesome.
ReplyDeletei get where you are coming from about trying to keep your house "perfect" when you don't feel that you yourself is perfect. ho-hum...
you're not a bitch and you don't deserve hardship. you deserve the happiness and love at the end of the tunnel though, so stay strong xx
ReplyDeleteThings will improve. I'm always telling myself you just have to be optimistic.
ReplyDeleteI find cleaning to be therapeutic and relaxing. I think that's normal... Plus it's exercise if you're cleaning for a long time!
ReplyDeleteWeekends are always rough for me too, especially if it's a holiday. But it's a new week and a new month, and we can all get back on track!
xoxoxoxoxo
Sometimes i get in this OCD state of wanting to clean everything and for everything to have a place in my room. I can be fanatical but i guess it makes me feel like i have control>
ReplyDeletewhenever i go out I think. i'd rather stay in but most of the time if I force myself to go, I have LOADS of fun. But yeah i still think i should let myself go out and live my life in the world and to stop isolating myself :)
xxx
p.s sorry the letter "i" is always lowercase, I'm not an idiot at punctuation, my computer is acting up ;)