Fairytale music

Yesterday was one of the days when I hate myself. I don't want to see other people and don't want other people to see me. Too bad it was my last day at my hometown. Too bad it was my mom's nameday. Too bad I had so much to study- and a migraine. I was nauseous and dizzy. And grumpy.

I made everyone sad, again. They don't seem to understand why I am like this. I don't know how to explain and I'm not sure I want to find a way to. I hope they can forgive me for being the way I am, seeing them like this makes me hate myself even more. I'm sorry.

Saturday morning, and after severe turbulence, I am home with my heave bags and full stomach. Not that I've eaten something yesterday, but I'm so full of the holiday dinners. I think mom understood that thin makes me happy. She told me that she will support my decision to loose 5 kilos until summer. Either that or she thinks I'm so fat. She is afraid that if she lets me do this, I won't stop. I am afraid of that as well, but it's not her choice really.

I am cutting flour out of my life. I am starting fresh with so much veggies, lean meat and sprays of olive oil (if I find this gadget that sprays oil) that will give me enough nutrients to live well. I got avocados and eggs from the grocery store and I have some dried fruit for sugar panic attacks.

2012, bring it on

(barbara palvin omg)

*oh, and Urban Outfitters, could you please speed up my delivery order?

I can't wait to show you!!