Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Beware.

I can't believe January is coming to an end so soon. It's like I'm living at two universes. Currently, I am responsible for a guy's broken heart, for not passing my exams once again, for E feeling the pressure to hang around with her ex's friends and for a new guy who likes me and is soon to be heart broken as well.
This is what I do, don't call me cocky. I don't enjoy hurting people's feelings, it's just natural. The thing is I like this new guy enough to try and act normal. To try and go out on a date, try to be all nice and lovely, try to kiss him and touch him, try to sleep with him, even try to be in a relationship. Past has shown, I freak out after the "try to sleep with him" step. And then I disappear. No explanation whatsoever. I don't have one, how could I explain to others?
Sex is fine, hanging around is great but when my feelings start to wake up, I have to leave. Commitment issues? Mental disorder? You name it.

I tried to stay away from broken people, I didn't see that I had become one of them..
Posted by at

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous24 January 2012 at 22:41

    You are describing myself a year and a half ago, before I met A..
    I still feel like this inside sometimes, like why the hell have I let someone in!?
    All I know is that if I end up the broken one I'll be destroyed and I hate myself for being in that position, being the vulnerable one.
    I trust him enough though, maybe this new guy will be the one that you trust <3

    Si xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. AVY24 January 2012 at 23:20

    I think most people can relate to this, I know I can.

    / Avy
    http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

    ♥

    ReplyDelete
  3. Peridot (G+P)25 January 2012 at 02:58

    *Massive huggles*

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pretty-Unpretty25 January 2012 at 10:00

    Big Hugs! I find it hard to let people in and i HATE confrontation. A guy tried to tell me they liked me and i physically ran away.
    Luckily for me R was a friend for 3 months first (never saw him except when drunk and didnt really say hi) he was just the guy who dumped me's best friend. so i could easily tell him stuff as he wasnt too close. Then when he did i didnt have to tell him anything, he already knew me. It was brilliant.
    Point is, letting people in is a good thing as you'll be suprised when people dont run away from what they find.

    Lots of love and hugs.

    -C

    http://pretty-unpretty-life.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous27 January 2012 at 01:01

    i know for a fact that you will find that one special someone who will settle you down. I had the same problem before i met the guy im dating now. he knows everything about my eating disorder, and my depression, and that has made all the difference. You will find someone that you trust with absolutely anything.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)