Sunday, 15 January 2012

Hating the days.

Fucking Sundays are back. I guess. In a really bad mood all day today.. I keep shutting out my own happiness, my chance to feel normal more than one week in a row. I say no to dates and I stay home with my fish and my mirror, in fear that people out there will judge me. But I've realised NO ONE will ever judge me as hard as I'm judging myself. It would be fucking impossible.

All of my friends have boyfriends. ALL. Not one of them seems happy though, but they have someone to talk to,  to listen, to hang out, to fuck. What do I do? I keep shutting everyone down for ridiculous reasons. I like being single, but not the way I am these past couple of years. I am disgusted at myself, ashamed at the same time.

"What's up keeping a positive thinking?" yeah, yeah.
I tried this morning. I tried really hard. And then smoked until the pack was empty and ate until my fridge was empty. Ice cream during winter, it would normally cheer me up. I won't know until I finish the carton.

everything around me makes me want to puke. is it a hormonal thing or am I just disgusted at the universe right now?
Posted by at

4 comments:

  1. AVY15 January 2012 at 20:27

    Having a boyfriend isn't always that much fun, I promise.

    / Avy
    http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

    ♥

    ReplyDelete
  2. Olivia Lee15 January 2012 at 21:25

    I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time lately, darling girl. I think you are wonderful, and any guy should be lucky to know you. It's only a matter of believing it yourself, I guess. Which is insanely hard for most of us. Love you, be strong, drink tea.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fat Piggy15 January 2012 at 23:35

    I HATE Sundays, it is a bullshit day of the week.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ~Nessa~17 January 2012 at 03:47

    I like Sundays. Sunday is the day I sleep in and eat very little. Saturdays are way worse for me.

    Chin up dear, you're lovely. :) XO

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)