Has anyone tried it? The instructor (female) was very pretty, with the classic "zumba" T-shirt, a huge smile and a funny accent. The music was okay, although the moves were not very "me". Maybe if I had a couple of vodka shots I would have accepted the fact that half of the moves were booty shaking! All in all, I had fun but it's not my idea of workout. Definitely I would try it again if Saturday night finds me with nothing else to do.
Anyway, we were probably 20-25 people in the class. One girl was anorexic-looking, haven't seen her around much. Everyone was giving her weird looks. She was severely underweight. My friend looked at her, then me and said "it is so sad". I looked away. After class we headed to the lockers room and she changed in front of us after her shower. I looked at her legs trying not to be seen. People would think I was staring at her but I only cared about this thigh gap. I felt sorry about myself. She put on so many layers of clothing and headed out looking like an Eskimo. I always though if I reached my ideal weight I would wear knee high socks and shirt dresses and nice cardigans matching my converse,something like "relaxed street style", not my sweats on top of the shirt.
If I could talk to her and not sound like a crazy person, these would be my questions. "how do you feel? do you enjoy this body that you worked so hard for? have you ever, at least once, felt perfect? do you wear fashion clothes? do you even care about looking pretty anymore?" and then I would tell her how I envy her thigh gap. Cause it's true.
I've done Zumba! I actually really liked it. Like you, I'm totally self-conscious and felt like a complete idiot, but after the first few songs and all the sweat that I was pouring off, I didn't care. Because "Hey! It's exercise!" ;) Besides, a lot of the other people there looked just a stupid as me.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was severely underweight, I was lucky, it was mid summer and hot as hell. So I showed off my legs, arms, back. I felt exhausted but good - it was the only time in my life I've liked my body. I did feel perfect and felt like I did look pretty, even though I realize now I looked sick. But I forgot how "normal" felt. My mind was in overdrive constantly, and I was unable to sit still. It was a weird time.
I wish I could say I never wanted to go back there.
its kind of this weird habit of mine too, trying to find the Ana... Statistically speaking there are people like us everywhere, but do we see them? We always feel so unseen, bringing our issues to the surface but still remain invisible. Surely then we can see those who are like us, can't we?
ReplyDeleteIt's a strange concept. I know what you mean though, I've lost close to 20lbs now since the beginning of december and I have spent hundreds of dollars shopping online for these beautiful clothes that I can wear when I'm thin. Half of them drown me in fabric even in a size Small, and not in the high fashion way either lol. It sucks, but it's better than being fat.
love always,
xoxo
This sounds crazy and sick but I'm the same.
ReplyDeleteI go to classes at a gym too, maybe twice a week.
I generally alternate which ones I do and which days depending on when I can make it etc. and without fail there is always this severely underweight girl there, I see even when we finish a class she stays on for the next one. I swear she lives there.
Anyway, like you, I can't help but catch a glance and wonder what it's like to be there in her shoes.
Si xx
I like Zumba, it's fun. Silly, giggly fun. As long as I'm sweating it feels like exercise. I think it really depends on the instructor and tracks they choose to how intense it is though...
ReplyDeleteI used to do the same thing with skinny girls at the gym. To be honest, now I can appreciate their bodies when they look good but when I see someone with dull lank hair, sullen cheeks and bones I think, I would prefer to be happy, healthy, glowing and full of energy even if I'm at a higher weight than that....
Having said that I'm still 23kgs off my ideal weight.
Hope you find your happy place :)
I love zumba I go to a class on Mondays wish she would do more classes in the week and I have 2 zumba DVDs at home and zumba for my Wii...I am a zumba freak lol.
ReplyDelete