*publish*

In case anyone is wondering where am I, I feel I should explain. Since Friday things got ugly. I was so moody, I couldn't leave the house, I couldn't stay inside these walls, I was going insane. I was forcing myself to feel better, to look at my tattoo and remind myself of all the good things and I just couldn't.

My period was nowhere near, and that made things even worse. I fought with E, the boy didn't want to speak to me and everything just collapsed out of nowhere. On Sunday I had an allergic reaction to a slice of pizza, and that's when I gave up. I couldn't handle all these thoughts inside my head, I couldn't possibly study for my exams and all I wanted was a glass of wine, some sleep and my period.

.........................................................

Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm turning 22. I've given it so much thought and decided to have a small party here at my place. I don't want to invite the boy (not that he would want to come, oh the irony of how things can change in a day..) and maybe I shouldn't invite O. I just want a happy and calm birthday, to spend the night with friends who care about me. The boys have been so nice these past days, even though I couldn't explain what made me so upset, they cared so much to cheer me up. :)

The coffee guy this morning kept talking to me in English, thinking I was a tourist, and the guy at the line behind me offered to give me change, when the cashier was out. Unbelievable, what a floral dress can do to how people view women..anyway, I got my period and I can finally get out of the Victoria's Secret Pink sports bra and wear normal lace bras again. What a joy.

I'm rambling, sorry.

You are all invited to come, those of you who actually still read this blog anyway.

xxx