Yesterday I studied until midnight and then went for drinks until 4 in the morning with two of my (boy) friends. It was fun and cold and a bit rainy. On the other side of the town centre, she was talking about me. They want to know if I'm single. Damn, ask me guys. Yes, I am single and I always stay single, even when I date and fuck the same guy for a long time. Yes, I have issues and yes, I am crazy sometimes. Maybe some day I can feel like a normal person in an actual relationship. Maybe. And then she was asked which of the two I preferred. Oh, my, how boys can be stupid. You can't even choose a freaking milkshake without interacting with it a little at first, how the fuck can I choose a guy?
Well, simply, I won't. Why bother going to that much trouble? I already have been told I am "as heartless as the bitch from 500 days of summer". I find her to be realistic. I know it's not the normal thing, but most people aren't. They just like to act normal.
Oh baby, I completely get this... Ever since I've been in college, I'm such a guy when it comes to relationships. Grab their attention, interact, play. Throw away like a used tissue. And they seem to be enjoying it (God knows why). Maybe I just haven't found the guy I'd like to be in an actual relationship with? I say-- judge me all you want, I won't disagree: I'm a selfish, heartless bitch.
ReplyDeleteLove you, darling. (drinking red wine at the moment as well... to a great night)
You know, sometimes I wonder where I would have been if I hadn't gotten my boyfriend as early as I did. I would probably be the same place as you are now. If I hadn't been so lucky to find a guy who has the ability to love me despite all of my fails, I would probably have lost my virginity to some asshole, have a lot of failed relationships, and in the end just give up hope in those. I really do get where your mind is at.
ReplyDeleteJust stay strong love. Remember, we will always love you :)
Hmm I think I've heard "heartless bitch" describe myself a few times as well. Bitches don't get hurt, at least that's my theory. Relationships are overrated, mostly it just feels like a prison.
ReplyDeleteI would give you cigarettes if i could.:)
ReplyDeleteHaha sounds like a cozy night. I'll have one of those sooner or later. =)
ReplyDeleteGuys are dumb. That's pretty much it. lol You find a good one once in a blue moon. =p
Normal is over rated. Just be you & have fun with life :)
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