Any title will do.

Seriously.. I hate exams. But okay, who doesn't? I mean three days now I'm somewhere between how life first appeared on earth.. how Darwin became all that famous.. how giraffes have such a long neck.. how many cals are there in a strawberry yogurt.. damn, I binged again.. what happens in the next HIMYM episode.. how many days till Di comes..
.these kind of stuff.


And then.. I did sth very bad. Something I've sworn to myself I would NEVER do no matter what. I tried to throw up. I mean I always thought I can handle my ED and I'm not that deep into it to start purging.
I was shaking, I was crying but I didn't manage to do it. Uh I didn't want to try this ever again! Exept I did. The next day.
Scared as hell I tried it one more time.
I was more sure I could do it.
But couldn't....so I swear (once again) I will never try to do this..


Last night I couldn't sleep. This morning I couldn't get up. I had planned to go to the gym this morning. I barely managed to reach the bathroom. I got up to the scale ready to see the enormous number. It showed 56.7
Without even looking at the mirror I got dressed, put on my pale pink sweater (like 26 degrees here but I was kinda cold) and went to get my laundry, some peaches and then to the bank. As I reached my final stop I started to feel kinda dizzy. Kept thinking how stupid I was that I wanted to go to the gym too. Anyway I took some cookies and a plain cold coffee, came home, ate it and felt disgusted once again.

Funny thing in this whole story is that I feel okay doing all these. And that disturbs me the most. I can be laughing and dancing around having all these in the back of my head.

IS THIS ROUTINE FOR ME FROM NOW ON?
OH THAT'S SUPER SPOOKY!