Just another national holiday.

Since I decided to give it a try with O, I've been feeling quite flat. It's not that I didn't know that. When you don't like someone for three years, what do you expect to feel in a week's time?
We laugh. A lot. He's sweet. We can cuddle, and I don't feel like suffocating. We have sex. It's like I know what he is like, and he knows me. But you can never really know someone, can you?
I already had a conversation with my friends about it. I don't want a relationship. They believe I play with him. It's not like that; I know it's not the normal thing to do, but nothing about me is normal. So I don't care about what they say.

Have you seen "my mad fat diary"? It's an English series, about Rae, an obese girl who tried to kill herself, and how she's getting back to normal life with friends and family and boys etc. It's quite nice, although I find disturbing how much I can relate to her. Like, seriously. Some scenes I find upsetting, and I know I don't even resemble to her in the least possible.

Yesterday I couldn't sleep. My stomach hurt, I was nauseous, along with some more symptoms. I had to find some medication, but the only pharmacy open this late (4 in the morning) was really far away. So I called them anyway, just to talk to someone. The lady sounded kind, she advised me on what pills to take, and told me a story of her own, just to calm me down. When I finally went back to sleep and woke up, I tried to find another open pharmacy (national holiday means stores closed). I had to go through the parade, it was madness. So surreal.

After one whole bar of milk chocolate and one of the pills, I feel more calm. I have to get it together; alone. I'm almost 23.