My grandmother passed away yesterday morning.
And all I got was a call, after her funeral. It's so weird, really. Even though nothing will practically change in my life right now, this call meant so much. I have to force myself realise this fact. Can you understand? I live very far away from my grandmother, so it's been about a year since I last saw her. But I always knew she was there, I could picture the window she was looking outside to. I was calling her, and even though she didn't always undestand who I was (she was 93, I couldn't expect her to), we would talk and share silly news, about her lunch, about the weather, she'd always send me kisses, like little girls do. I loved her for that. And it's weird that I couldn't attend her funeral, something my parents hid from me. For the better, for the worst, I don't know. This is no time to blame my mother, really. She loved her mother. And I can never understand how she feels right now. I'm so scared of the time I have to go through that...but let's not put extra sadness to this post.
I didn't see her dying, I wasn't at the church like my cousins, I didn't say good bye to her and didn't give a last kiss to her calm and peaceful face, like the ones we were sending over the phone. And I almost feel guilty of that.
I feel like I'm crying for all the wrong reasons today.
I hope she can rest now.
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ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that...
ReplyDeleteMay she rest in peace
I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother's death. I hope the memories you have of her will give you comfort during this sad time.
ReplyDelete*Wraps you in a massive hugs*
ReplyDeleteThis is always shitty news to get.
Look after yourself as much as you can, ok?
Don't question your grieving process, just cry when you need to. Everyone has a different way of dealing with loss. Remember the good times and remember her how she lived. It's all anyone every wants.
<3