I am in my room.. this room reminds me of a whole lot things, both good and bad. There is a stupid Santa Claus that has been here for about two years now and he wears a carnival crown too! There is a poster of the band "Silversun Pickups" who came last summer in my town and they were amazing.. Hmmm, I have cried so much on this bed I'm sitting right now writing this post, but now I am just a bit of smiling. A bit.
Well I don't feel nice. Actually I feel bad. My head is stuck in a stupid situation, my back hurts, my stomach is full and that doesn't help at all.. above all that I am making fake memories again. It is sth I really like doing -you know already I'm a phycho, don't you??- but lately they tend to stop me from relaxing. I have to use my pillow mist again. Oh, if only you could realise what this means!!
Monday and Tuesday I'm home alone. Is that perfect? I doubt it.. I'm not feeling good. Everybody thinks I should stop thinking of him.
But we had a great time. I least I did. I know I did. We'll see..
No one can really tell I have all these on my mind. Not now.. Only two ppl know most of it (of course ED's talk is forbidden) but one is really busy at the moment and the other one is on the other side of the globe..
And here's the point where I thank you so much and I am letting you know how much it means to me that you are reading this blog vomit right now
So for now I can't do anything else but making fake memories..
i do that, i stare at everything in my room and nothing much has moved, it frustrates me so much. and for some reason i never cry on my bed. i always sit on the floor against my radiator or sit in my windowsill with the curtains closed around me. i think its a comfort thing.
ReplyDeleteBeing home alone? thats awesome. you have no distractions, no one forcing you to eat etc. have fun.
xoxo
I saw silversun pickups in Manchester and they were amazing! I don't like being on my own too much, things get weird. I don't know. Xx
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