Yesterday I binged. Properly, like the old times. I felt so humiliated by myself that I almost scared me off. Couldn't purge. I don't want to end up like this again. I can't. I think something's wrong too. I will have some blood tests this week, just to make sure...
I couldn't get out of bed this morning either. Tired eyes, people think it's the studying. No, it's not. It's the miserable attitude towards everything I'm having.
I know what's the solution to this. I can pretend to be 19 again. My first year here. I was eating like 600 cals a day, being a bitch and loving it. And you know what? Just cause I was myself, everyone loved me too. I think I might try it, but just so many things have happened since then.. anyway, I must act. And I will.
I also missed the first rain. It was two days ago, 5.30 in the morning. G texted me so I could wake up and see, cause he knows I love the rain. I didn't even hear my phone beeping, so I missed it..
It's just too much. Not even my black coffee could bring me back.
sorry if this is any kind of triggering post.
xx
Ah fuck, well good luck with your paper. Don't worry about the binge. You'll be awesome :) Xo
ReplyDeleteDon´t worry about the binge, everyone has those days. Just think that after tomorrow things will get better!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the lovely comment by the way! <3
Take care, you will be alright! promise!
Hon, its okay. We all have these times and we all get through them somehow. Just sip coffee, put on something cute and new, and enjoy a fashion magazine for like an hour. It'll be calming, that one little moment could make you're day. Best of luck <3
ReplyDeleteDammit that sucks! *hugs* I need to get a camera and film you some of our "wonderful" spring downpours.
ReplyDeleteIt's not the falling, it's the getting up that counts. You can beat this before it even begins. You can.
Go make a cuppa and put on your headphones and listen to this for a bit: http://www.rainymood.com/
*Hugs*