Almond shaped eyes

So, okay, I've been bad in too many ways. Haven't studied in a while, haven't been looking after my karma and saying mean things and on top of all I have been eating all this shit. Birthdays should really be celebrated with drinks only. Don't invited me over for stupid chocolate fondue and then force me to eat everything else besides pineapple and banana. I will feel uncomfortable and I will get moody.
Luckily someone suggested tequila shots so I had three that got me back to normal. So okay, who's wondering what the fuck am I doing, since I am on allergy treatment? Yeah, that didn't stop me and by night I had again a major red spots incident. Stupid me.

I woke up feeling shitty and fat. No, first fat and then shitty. Black coffee with caramel aroma, 0 calories, was the first thing I made. Friday starts my killer diet. I decided I will call it "no budget-kick ass transformation". It will basically consist of runs at the old harbour, YouTube work out videos and lots of salad and protein.
No more 100 euro Pilates classes, no more take out restaurants. Just saving money for summer holidays and shopping. The first thing I am going to buy will probably be this. It smells really nice on me, but I am kinda worried it's a very ..mature scent for me. Any thoughts? I am also saving for a major wardrobe transformation but I will talk more about it next week on my other blog. Stay tuned!!

oh, with the boy things are going pretty slow. I don't know if it's because of the exams, because he's very shy or cause I keep saying stupid stuff, but I hope he really makes a move at the right time. It's really frustrating to be afraid of yourself messing up- and I am so freaking much.

xxx

She exhales vanilla lace

So I am okay. Apparently I had an allergic reaction that was either caused by something I ate or by stress. I am not sure, but I'm guessing the second one? Stress has been following me lately, with all these earthquakes every day and the exams. I don't scare easily with an earthquake but having small ones every day really affects my mood. I took some pills for the allergy, a body milk for the red spots and I think I am all well :)

In other news, exams will be over on Thursday. Like, finally.
I got so tired so soon in 2012, but I'm still keeping an optimistic attitude.

Everything.just.wrong.

Okay, yes I'm fucking living in a tv drama. After the earthquake (because everything eslse wasn't enough), yesterday morning finds me, E and KS at my place, study time. But E had other plans, she wanted to know every detail of me and KS going for drinks with the boys on Wednesday. Her ex was there, damn. It was so difficult to explain that we really don't give a fuck about him being there. We had a great time though.
I am balancing between two guys right now, two best friends, and this is such an unstable thing to do. They commented on the fact that I have not eaten once while we're out together. I ignored them, even when they gave me the fork and demanded I tried the chocolate pie. I refused and continued with my wine.

So, back to yesterday, E cried, then KS cried and I was just staring at the floor going round and round on my desk chair. We are in such a good mood now, aren't we?? I started to feel so awkward, and my body was filled with red spots, just to make things worse. I don't know what this is, but it hasn't left yet and everything feel itchy. I'm using a medicine that I found but oh, do I need any more problems right now?

So, yeah like Seth, I am also having an allergic reaction to the universe. Sweet.

Lights

My problems came to an end -for now. This morning I did quite well on my exam and if I have passed it would mean so much. It's something that has been holding me down for a year or so, so if only I have passed..
I have really been in my own little world lately. Thinking about future relationships, studying, smoking, Skype talking. This variety of things suits me, I feel calm.
The funny thing is I'm getting so much hate lately. I am working so hard to protect my karma and I face bitterness and jealousy every day. An easy example, E is in a really bad situation right now and the fact that two of her ex's friends like me does not help. She gets invites for dinner for me and her, asks to bring me for drinks and that hurts her. I am really afraid of how immature boys can be. She's missed her exams as well. All that being said, I can't get angry at her.

New topic. Shopping. I got asked to pick some gifts from VS and I must admit I had a hard time to find something unique. I chose this bra  on the tropical punch and/or black. I don't care much for VS underwear (although I have lots) since Intimissimi is my favourite. I also want this watch, it is a bit expensive but I think I'm going to get it eventually. Shopping for me and my friends is fun again -last year I had an enormous breakdown when I wouldn't leave the house to even go to the grocery store/university/Zara.

Recovering from it, gives me reasons to smile. Some (hopefully) nice grades, shopping and a future boyfriend, seems like I can't ask for anything else. Intake has been low once again cause nausea is following me all week and I remembered my pills today so all is cool, ins't it?

Visit:
Anklets&Skulls -for style inspiration
Dark Romanticism -for more shopping!

Beware.

I can't believe January is coming to an end so soon. It's like I'm living at two universes. Currently, I am responsible for a guy's broken heart, for not passing my exams once again, for E feeling the pressure to hang around with her ex's friends and for a new guy who likes me and is soon to be heart broken as well.
This is what I do, don't call me cocky. I don't enjoy hurting people's feelings, it's just natural. The thing is I like this new guy enough to try and act normal. To try and go out on a date, try to be all nice and lovely, try to kiss him and touch him, try to sleep with him, even try to be in a relationship. Past has shown, I freak out after the "try to sleep with him" step. And then I disappear. No explanation whatsoever. I don't have one, how could I explain to others?
Sex is fine, hanging around is great but when my feelings start to wake up, I have to leave. Commitment issues? Mental disorder? You name it.

I tried to stay away from broken people, I didn't see that I had become one of them..