And yet I find the worst moment to do so. Oh, I feel so awful right now. Seriously, if I had a hole in my house I would lay there and cry until I starve myself to death. Mixed feelings. Sadness with anger and pathetic-ness.
Goodnight.I push myself too much. Being perfect, having friends, proving to my parents everything is perfect without me trying at all.. What the hell? I have done such a bad thing to myself. I don't need anyone to fill me with guilt and make me feel bad about myself, I'm doing it just fine on my own. So please. I don't beg for friendship. I don't care how many friends I have. Cause no one can care about you at the end. And I don't look for love, either. So I am alone. Surrounded by all this people in this smoky bar filled with people I know. I stare at the ground and wish for something to make me leave and never come back.
Honestly.
[Scale today: 56.8
Days till NY? 31 ]
I took two of my valerian pills just to be able to sleep.
I promise tmrrw I will make a happy post. It's shopping day anyway, I hope I find something that fits.
i hear you. i wish often that i could have a place to myself without someone else's expectations slowing me down. i hope tomorrow goes well. hang in there, darling.
ReplyDeletexoxo
zette
Tomorrow will be a better day my dear.
ReplyDeleteTurn that frown upside down you gorgeous thing.
I hope you have fun shopping.
Love Anafly
xxx
It will be better. You just need to remember all the things you love. Yes, in the end we are all alone, but we are strong.
ReplyDeleteKeep thinking positive.
Stay strong!
They say "this too shall pass", so don't let it get you down.
ReplyDeleteStay strong!