So that's new (the healthy way)

Today I met with a dietitian. I saw her a few months ago in my landlord's grocery store and had in my mind to call her. So I did. I was so nervous, so freaking nervous this morning. If you know what having an eating disorder feels like, a dietitian can be like meeting with a psychiatrist.

She could find out. If she does, she would probably ask me to seek therapy. But she's my only solution to achieve my goal: get skinny, skinnier, skinniest. I have tried so many years to lose the weight, I have risked my health, I have almost been hospitalized twice and I am at my heaviest. What that taught me? Look for a better solution. The right one.

Her first impression:
Opening the door, she asked me if I was Annamaria, the girl she was supposed to meet. She told me afterwards she expected a much heavier girl, that I am very toned and I don't have a 'problem'. (I know that) She agreed that we can work good to achieve my goals. First goal is losing 6 kilos, I told her. She okay with that.
My first impression:
Opening the door, I wasn't sure I remembered her correctly. She had cut her hair, that's for sure. But she was also skinny. SKINNY. Oh, how happy that made me. I find it so hilarious when dietitians are heavy or even overweight. But she wasn't normal, she was definitely underweight. And that's what I am looking for.

So on Monday I am starting. She said we can work with half or even one kilo per week, depending on my metabolism. I think it's too much to expect, but I feel optimistic. That will definitely not risk my health. So, why the fuck not.