River's fairytales *

I don't know why I disappeared like that. It was hectic, madness, such a full daily scheduled. And now we've come to this; one week before Easter holidays. One week before May, too. Like, what?

I got my blood test results today. Shit. I am pretty much the same as I was two years ago. I told myself i wouldn't let it happen again. Well.. My mom wanted to come to the island, but I assured her that I'm going to be good for this week. Then I'm flying home, so she can pamper me all she wants. For three days.
Because after that I'm leaving! London, then Peru :D
I can't let this ruin my holidays, ruin my sister's holidays. So many things to see, so much money spent, I have to be strong and happy for such a trip. And I will.

Doctors say I shouldn't be active right now; they mumble the word 'hospitalised'. It's not logical, but I'm always stronger that I should be according to the tests. So I am taking it down a bit, but operating fully at the same time. I dragged myself to the nail bar today. I had my eyebrows waxed and a grey/blue manicure. It was nice to talk to strangers, my friends and family today treated me like a puppy.

if only I could find the perfect maxi dress..

xxx

It's the day after the storm.

I feel like someone punched me in the face. It's the second time I've felt like that; ironically, it involves a certain person again (yes, G). But now the situation is different. Now I am the one who screwed up.  Nevertheless, I will try (and succeed) to make the most out of my weekend.

Things that make my Saturday happy:
so much sleep
cleaning the house (yes, I am THAT girl)
a large bowl of strawberries in my fridge
water with ice
new bracelets, tights and shirts (recent purchases from Stradivarius)
movie night

xx 

Just another national holiday.

Since I decided to give it a try with O, I've been feeling quite flat. It's not that I didn't know that. When you don't like someone for three years, what do you expect to feel in a week's time?
We laugh. A lot. He's sweet. We can cuddle, and I don't feel like suffocating. We have sex. It's like I know what he is like, and he knows me. But you can never really know someone, can you?
I already had a conversation with my friends about it. I don't want a relationship. They believe I play with him. It's not like that; I know it's not the normal thing to do, but nothing about me is normal. So I don't care about what they say.

Have you seen "my mad fat diary"? It's an English series, about Rae, an obese girl who tried to kill herself, and how she's getting back to normal life with friends and family and boys etc. It's quite nice, although I find disturbing how much I can relate to her. Like, seriously. Some scenes I find upsetting, and I know I don't even resemble to her in the least possible.

Yesterday I couldn't sleep. My stomach hurt, I was nauseous, along with some more symptoms. I had to find some medication, but the only pharmacy open this late (4 in the morning) was really far away. So I called them anyway, just to talk to someone. The lady sounded kind, she advised me on what pills to take, and told me a story of her own, just to calm me down. When I finally went back to sleep and woke up, I tried to find another open pharmacy (national holiday means stores closed). I had to go through the parade, it was madness. So surreal.

After one whole bar of milk chocolate and one of the pills, I feel more calm. I have to get it together; alone. I'm almost 23.

In

Counting down the days until April 4th starts today.
I know that if I continue this way I will be the fattest out of six. Me. Who was always envied for my toned legs and butt. So restriction is going to be. I got roughly two weeks.

So the intake is going to be something like this

breakfast: Herbalife shake and plain coffee, no milk no sugar
lunch: greek yogurt with banana, strawberries and wheat
dinner: Herbalife shake, boiled veggies

this would sum up to 800 cals per day. not bad.. I will also write the meals down on my 2013 diary so I don't lose focus

treat --> starbucks plain coffee w/ waffle when I go there to study
I can't possibly resist

Margaux, you goddess

Review

Having a Monday off really gets you off track on Tuesday. I couldn't get myself together and kept walking like a zombie around the lab corridors today. Weird part is, I had managed to get up earlier and have my shake.

Oh. The Shake. Herbalife Nutritional Shake.
I decided to try this out for multiple reasons, and honestly I didn't give it much thought. I got the Cookies and Cream flavor and it tastes amazing! I mean, when I mix it with non fat milk it tastes like a real shake, when I tried it with water, I couldn't even finish it- me, who drinks everything in sight! So beware, the taste of the plain shake (powder+water) tastes like absolute crap, and the after taste is even worse!

One week of using it, I caught myself being a lot stronger, and the dizziness in the lab was gone. So yes -apart from today- it really does what is says. Keeps me strong.
Now I'm not saying this is entirely it's fault, but I've lost a pound as well this past week. Of course I was too busy to eat as well, so maybe it's the combination. I will continue drinking these shakes for two months maximum, I promised myself. One, because they are chemicals and you know, I'm all for healthy stuff and two, because the're fucking expensive. 44 euro for a bottle. A big bottle, I know, but they're a total lot!

I will make another order, a bottle of Cookies and Cream and the single packages of Vanilla, and maybe ask if they have a sample of Strawberry flavour to send me as well.

Oh, add half of a banana in the mix, and it's heaven ;)

xx