Why minimalism?

First it was denim. Then the classic V neck t-shirt. Then, the little Apple gadgets. In black. Or white. Something about the clean cuts was making my heart beat faster.

My love for minimal, clear, structured things was a fact since I remember myself.

"Black, white and grey" was the answer to the 'whatsyourfavouritecolour' question. I couldn't possible pick one. "These aren't colours", I got told. Well, to me they are. And quite strong ones. Picking these colours as my main attire, they constitute the canvas where my personality can bloom and wander.

Convinced you yet?

some pictures from my Tumblr will explain better..

yes, do believe that one picture's worth 1.000 words

"Why didn't I just stay at home?"

(WHY WEEKENDS edition)

How many times have I said that in my life, while locking the door behind me and taking my shoes off exactly in the middle of the hallway (where I will trip onto them as soon as I wake up the next morning- guaranteed).
Trying to become a social butterfly when you suffer from a mild agoraphobia isn't always exciting. You force yourself to go out, you have a nice time, but by the time you get home all these thoughts come back and haunt you. But this phrase isn't a night-time only thing. Let me explain.

Saturday noon. Me and my huge microbiology book at a cafe, where I am studying every day, trying not to think about today's being G's birthday. When I woke up I didn't realise it was weekend already, so I wasn't prepared of all the couples of people that would go for a saturday coffee/brunch. Why the hell didn't I think of that?? Three hours later, unable to concentrate to my book and having heard what happened to the girl next to me (her boyfriend didn't text her back -so much saturday drama :p), I was thinking about food. Balancing between eating just home cooked mushrooms or a 4x4 vegetarian pizza (hello, EDNOS) I decided to leave early and go get these damn mushrooms, among other weekend supplies.
While I was at the check out counter I heard a 'hey, what's up" behind me. It was E. Now, E hasn't been on this blog for a year or so. That's because she's my ex best friend, who lives right next to me. Here she was, smiling (half cute-half fake, just like my smile), holding her basket of things and being all skinny. I was always the skinny friend and she would copy every thing I did, from clothing to eating although she knew about my ED (I couldn't put up with it). And of course what did she do?? LOOKED AT MY BASKET.
Mushrooms, zucchinis, two yogurts for babies (hello, 'enhanced with iron') and a chocolate soy milk. That was the moment when I realised we could never be friends again. I don't know why exactly, but that stare of her made me furious. We just chit-chatted until I payed and then I left..

I got home, took my freaking shoes off in the middle of the hallway and cooked those damned mushrooms, while whispering 'why didn't I just stay at home today??' and thinking about the 4x4 pizza..

Why I think I finally got my shit together -and how long it's gonna last this time.

(WHY WEEKENDS edition)

If you follow me long enough, you know that I've been through highs and lows within these years. You also know that I have managed to excel in that, going through highs and lows in only a day. This is quite a skill, don't you think. Normal people call these people 'moody' and throw them off the waggon.

But, believe you me, there's this time when you look at yourself and think 'I've got my shit together'. Yes, it's going to come at some point. Like this week, there's not been ONE day when I doubted myself. I don't have all my problems sorted out, no. But I know in every aspect of my life what I want to achieve. I have dreams that I can turn into goals, then into achievements.

Wait, was it that simple?
No. It took me more than 5 years of inner conversation, some travelling abroad, some binges, some purges, a tattoo, an illness of a loved one and some excessive headaches that threatened my memory to get where I am now.
But now I know that you have to do what you have to do to accept yourself. Then everything else will come. I, for instance, realised that I like to eat clean. It makes me look more flat, and that makes me happy. Like genuinely happy. I also realised I want to be a pescaterian, so I'm trying this out- it's going brilliantly. I have come to terms that I don't want a huggy relationship just yet; I want to experience sex. And I am old enough to look exactly for what I want. And that's fine as long as I am safe and care about people's feelings. I know I don't like clubbing, like for a fact, so I put my converese on and hang at rock bars.

What I am trying to say is that it's cool, you don't have to convince anyone that you are this perfect human being . You just have to convince yourself that you are. Cause YOU ARE. And then, like some kind of magic, you will attract only 'shiny happy people' your way :)

and having said all these, stay tuned for the time that my moodiness and bitchiness strikes back to this post..

p.s. comment down below what is that one characteristic that makes you feel nice and comfortable with yourself.